14.) Ghost (Green)

I wanted so much to be the man to make you happy
loved when I told jokes and you playfully slapped me
waking up each morning to see your beautiful face
kissing your lips just to get a taste
of your sugar, everything that makes you sweet
loving you from your head to your feet
We lock hands, then we turn and lock eyes
your hand on my chest as mine rests on your thigh
in love with your soft fair skin and your straight brown hair
you didn’t like your blemishes, but I didn’t care
none of your flaws had ever phased me
so whenever you doubted yourself, it drove me crazy
I was proud to have you, to call you my baby

your scent reminds me of the beautiful moments we share…
or the ones we didn’t, because you were never there
you lead me on so that you can let me down
you want me there, but its you that’s never around
I was there whenever you needed me the most
but where were you for me?…GHOST

I reserved moments in time for us to connect
but whenever you found time, you seem to forget
that I existed, that we even made plans
the times you stood me up because you couldn’t stay sober
I should of known then that we were over
when you left for months at a time
I waited, eager for your return
but in that time, you took it upon yourself
to set fire and watch our bridges burn
when I would travel coast to coast
felt like I was sleeping with a ghost
I wrote, I called, but you never picked up the phone
like you didn’t want me to come back home
it’s like we were never real, nothing about us existed
I tried for your love and you persisted then resisted

where were you after all that time?
breadcrumb trail of all the signs
that said we would be together
but this reality said never
you were just a ghost haunting my mind
another false vision wasting my time
Told my family how much you meant to me
just to go home every holiday feeling empty
cause you weren’t there by my side
being there for me, you were no where in sight
I was too polite to call out your bluff
too stubborn to tell you I’ve had enough
now I’m alone with just our memories
of everything you pretended to be

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