Monthly Archives: September, 2013

Fire of Regret

so you fear a life with him

but still, you give in

you settle, racing against time

you tell yourself it’s fine

you could do worse

but its not what you wanted

hearing the cries from within

you are still haunted

by your own desires

polluting your own conscience

it is now a liar

 

You scream fire

its burning internally

you can’t spend eternity

thinking this is it

this is as good as it gets

burning with the fire of regret

 

a victim of your time

always living in a rush

can’t rewind when it gets rough

the damage is done

good deeds undone

they say he is not the one

you agree he is not the one

but you refuse to admit you’re wrong

because you have something to prove

trying to find the answer to, “who are you?”

 

you want something sophisticated

you had it, but replaced it

he wasn’t ideal enough

he was too real, called your bluff

made you see the value in life

but you feared the potential of being a wife

you wanted a bad boy

to party and pop bottles

to cheat on you with top models

to degrade and dismiss you

curse with the same lips that kiss you

ignoring all the warning signs

cause you’ve been committed all this time

refusing to acknowledge change is good

won’t leave even though you know you should

 

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

you want me to speak badly about you, I will

but I can be a little cold, so just chill

I have no mercy for those that are so thirsty

to challenge, attack or hurt me

you picked a battle you can’t win, but don’t know it

there’s a beast in me, I just choose not to show it

I choose not to release it

because it just doesn’t seem fit

to expend energy creating enemies

I already have enough false friends resenting me

but now you have pushed me to my limit

thought I disrespected you, but I didn’t

you assumed you were the subject of a song

well now, you finally get to be in one

 

understand that I don’t write to hurt others

I write to express the pain of my lost brothers

to honor their memories

and I don’t adhere to conformity

I’m not in a business of pleasing people

I’m no more or less anyone’s equal

but don’t let the silence fool you

I have a lot to say and it will be heard

you can try to dissect every last word

make general comments personal

its not my goal to be hurting you

but I can’t control how you feel

when your distorted mind can’t even tell what’s real

if you can’t handle someone calling out your bullshit

you should be smarter, and not blatantly do it

 

my wordplay is like foreplay

cause your turned on and tuned in to what I have to say

every second, every minute of my business

you want everything to do with it

but you don’t like to be the subject of conversation

so are you here to support me or are you just hating

cause I’m having a problem relating to your misery

I know it loves company, but that won’t come from me

you attack me over something I didn’t do

and then expect me not to defend myself or retaliate

now explain to me, how you are not fake

you can’t write me off when I’m the writer

you picked a fight with a championship fighter

you designated a destination, well I’m the driver

I just took it somewhere you never expected

your existence, I no longer respect it

 

You hated me without reasonable cause

verbal assault just because

of your silly ass assumptions

and now you have another thing coming

maybe I accept your insincere apology

but there’s no stopping me

it’s been written

this is your self-fulfilling prophecy

Sincerely, Me

I apologize for all my mistakes

sometimes it’s hard for me to relate

it seems like I lack empathy

so it might explain those resenting me

but my heart isn’t empty

I know that I care

how could I ever inspire fear

when in times of need, I’m always there

but maybe it’s me that’s the problem

if that’s the case, how could I ever solve them

just got to admit to myself

that I’ve failed someone else

I’m imperfect and I know that

but maybe it’s time I show that

 

I speak on all the heart breaks

but little on the one’s I’ve broken

everyone hesitates to be open

the disappointment in me never spoken

my obsession with time

the overactive mind

holding on to pause and rewind

replaying failures in the past

making sure those memories last

just to keep the pain fresh

allowing my decisions to follow me in death

 

I’m a serious commitment

to my life and everything in it

and I can admit it

that it’s tough to be in

I seem to take it too serious

scaring away those who are curious

causing all kinds of stress

cause I’m always seeking the best

worried about becoming complacent

resulting in so many opportunities wasted

but hopefully one day I’ll learn

until then, its my turn to apologize

so I apologize

for all the pain and the lies

for all the disappointment and shame

and all the wrong that remains

 

if you can forgive me

and see within me

any ounce of good

and if you could

just hear me out

and see what I’m about

you see, that every word I speak

is sincerely, me

 

Hello Tomorrow

I used to have some dark days

but now they’re all behind me

used to dwell on them everyday

and it used to blind me

living life through trial and error

hopeless romantic attempts at finding forever

 

I don’t need anything promised to me

I just want everyone to let me be

let me fall in love with nature

she’s part of my world, so let me date her

in peace, let us find harmony

she’s the only who can disarm me

 

I want to feel her touch on my skin

her sweet whispers guided by the wind

her tears falls just like the rain

so we seek shelter from the pain

because we know there’s always tomorrow

a new day, we say goodbye to the sorrow

we smile with the rising sun

she takes my hand and we go for a run

she guides me to a lake

where we first met, our first date

we stop as we hear the leaves rustle

…she says “I love you”

 

I awake to find no one there

just myself and the crisp cool air

but I can still feel her in my heart

a dream realized, we aren’t so far apart

no reason to feel any amount of sorrow

one day closer to her, so I smile and say, Hello Tomorrow

 

 

Loneliness the Tyrant

there’s a coldness surrounding me

loneliness is holding on to me

it’s clawing at my core

it wants me to love it more

more than anyone or anything else

it wants me to be by myself

have no one to depend on

it antagonizes loved ones, until they’re all gone

 

loneliness is a tyrant

trying to dictate my every move

trying to make me forget about you

emptiness tries to create a void

so that I want to avoid

everything, everyone

it wants to be the only one

 

can you feel it, it is so strong

If I give in, would I be wrong?

why keep on fighting and trying

for things that keep on dying?

like friendships and the fame

seeking answers for all this pain

when I can abandon it all the same

it wants me to forget my name

forget my past, implode my future

it wants to define me as a loser

 

It tries to tell me I’m irrelevant

but I am simply too resilient

it absolutely hates my persistence

my resistance doesn’t provide for much hope

it grabs my throat in hopes I choke

it hopes it arouses a fear that has me gasping for air

but yellow is not the color I wear

and I do not easily scare

Renew

what does it take
to undo our mistakes
restore your faith
in me, in you
can we, renew…

our meaning to one another
I love you like no other
so we have our ups and downs
but I always stick around
I don’t run from any adversity
cause at the end of the day
I still want you and me
you can trust that I’ll try
never do you have to ask why
I’m there for the good and bad
to show you a love you never had
we can make it all possible
my heart beats for everyone, but stops for you

what does it take to get through to you
that I only want you
I won’t settle for someone less
cannot accept second best
why should I become complacent
I can’t get over you
you have no replacement
and here I am
trying to make a statement
being the one man
persistent, trying to get through to you
but you’re resistant to something true

not ready for something long term
a commitment is not of your concern
so we pretend and we fake
like being together is a mistake
so we hold back
worried about how to react
to that denial in our hearts
not knowing where to start
we’ll keep flirting and denying
but I won’t keep lying
everyone knows that, it’s so easy to see
in all honesty, if we allowed us to be
there’s nothing more complete than you and me

%d bloggers like this: