Monthly Archives: July, 2014

What You Were Before Pt. 2 (Before We Were Anything)

I want my friend, but we are always involved
why won’t your passion for me dissolve
I try to show you my dark side, my flaws
but you just ignore and brush them off
you’ve created this illusion
and our relationship gets confusing
this back and forth, this tug of war
between your mind and your heart
is somehow playing with my heart
I know I don’t help the situation
cause maybe I’m afraid to face it
so I make it easy for you to chase it
but this thing you think we have
it’s not what you want so bad

You aren’t entitled, but embattled
I don’t want to have to
don’t want to break your heart
I’ll love you forever, my friend
but before we were anything
we always had our end

It hurts me as much as it hurts you
knowing I can’t make your dreams true
I know I don’t make it easy
but you’ll continue to blame me
and maybe one day hate me
but maybe it is for the best
if it lets you put thoughts of us to rest
we both play the same games
but with me you say it’s not the same
it’s a shame, took this long to admit it to ourselves
we are both right for someone else

Think seeing less of me will make it easy
but I am not easy to forget, hard to regret
what we once were was nothing more
than a performance we chose to endure
we both chose to entertain
I just happened to be better at this game
I took what you created and did nothing but exaggerate it
I’m sorry for your heart ache, your heart break
but this is not an apology for your conscience mistakes
I admit at times, we were both wrong
but it’s time you stopped listening to this siren’s song

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What you Were Before

we are ripe and in season
and how many reasons do I have to give?
for you to forgive
my mistakes fuels your hate
I give, you take, but how much can you take?
don’t ask how much I gave
just know you can’t relate
and yet I’m so relate-able
you go from hating me to hating you
once you know what I’ve been through
and what’s to come, and what I’ve undone
the sacrifices made for what was promised
the lifestyle that was so dishonest

you fit me like a glove
you fill me with love
but you burn me like a match
still you are my perfect match
to be nothing more
than what you were before

you tear walls down and invade my mind
you consciousness occupies my time
each minute you are awake
is another second I take
to adore and explore you
our current state of friendship is so toxic
I lie about wanting to and trying to stop it
so we will continue the cycle til the end
I promise to be your unreliable friend
cause I can’t do what’s best for us
I can never give you up

I wipe your eyes, I keep you calm
but we both know it’s all wrong
your comfort in the storm belongs to someone else
I need to admit this to myself
but I won’t be convinced of a thing
until I see you wearing that ring
my heart’s sharpshooter, you depart sooner to avoid the hassle
but I’m not a problem easily resolved through travel
one day I will accept the fact I can’t have you
but I’ll continue to let you entertain me, I’m glad to
so we’ll stubbornly do this back and forth thing
damn well knowing, this is a battle no one wins
we were good friends from the beginning
to think it would be different, who are we kidding
you will always be what you’ve been before
the most special person I know, nothing more

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