What you Were Before

we are ripe and in season
and how many reasons do I have to give?
for you to forgive
my mistakes fuels your hate
I give, you take, but how much can you take?
don’t ask how much I gave
just know you can’t relate
and yet I’m so relate-able
you go from hating me to hating you
once you know what I’ve been through
and what’s to come, and what I’ve undone
the sacrifices made for what was promised
the lifestyle that was so dishonest

you fit me like a glove
you fill me with love
but you burn me like a match
still you are my perfect match
to be nothing more
than what you were before

you tear walls down and invade my mind
you consciousness occupies my time
each minute you are awake
is another second I take
to adore and explore you
our current state of friendship is so toxic
I lie about wanting to and trying to stop it
so we will continue the cycle til the end
I promise to be your unreliable friend
cause I can’t do what’s best for us
I can never give you up

I wipe your eyes, I keep you calm
but we both know it’s all wrong
your comfort in the storm belongs to someone else
I need to admit this to myself
but I won’t be convinced of a thing
until I see you wearing that ring
my heart’s sharpshooter, you depart sooner to avoid the hassle
but I’m not a problem easily resolved through travel
one day I will accept the fact I can’t have you
but I’ll continue to let you entertain me, I’m glad to
so we’ll stubbornly do this back and forth thing
damn well knowing, this is a battle no one wins
we were good friends from the beginning
to think it would be different, who are we kidding
you will always be what you’ve been before
the most special person I know, nothing more

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One response

  1. “You fit me like a glove..”
    This gave me chills. Felt like you took the dialogue right out of my life.

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