Monthly Archives: April, 2015

Play On

I march to the beat of my own drum
then I pick up the pace and begin to run
but I don’t know what I’m running from
or maybe its what I’m running towards
I take that blind leap of faith
trusting God will keep me safe
I sometimes fall, but I always survive
I’m not ready to die so I’m still alive
I’m not afraid of death, but of dying too soon
I’m bleeding out, an open wound
a sign that life still flows through me
in this moment, I’m hollow, but not yet empty
and when I’m gone I leave a scar
to remind this world that I’ve come so far

I’ve been on this path for so long
i just let the drum play on
the beat sets the pace
competing in a race already lost to time
one day will come, one day I will have mine

what am I afraid of?
never changing from what I changed to
the monster I became to make you
the angel I impersonated to take you
afraid it’s too late to become someone new
we never met if I’m not the person you once knew
I am the leader of an army of one
who wants to understand me, the lost son
from a different place, a different time
the only truth I know is mine
a war machine created to keep peace
but I spread conflict like a disease
flood the world with hope and faith
but watch it waste away and evaporate

Fueled by all the wrong I’ve done
and the wrong that has yet to come
I try to do right, like I can redeem my light
which burns dimly cause I’m my worst enemy
my potential is what I envy
so many things that I pretend to be
hoping that it eventually brings out a better me
but I am exactly what I chose to be
in the time I’ve been given to change
I’ve only reflected on those I thought I protected
and there comes a time when I’m rejected
and its humbling to know where failure begins
is when they start to open up and let me in


Consolation Prize

ever feel the pain of being forgotten
forged in the fire left to be rotten
the disappointment in being overlooked
the drop in the heart to hear you were overbooked
the days you want to fade away from existence
but know no one would know you’re missing
all you want in this moment is for someone to listen
someone to care, someone who wants to be there
to hear you cry and ask why
to smile because of your smile
and you’re patient, so you wait a while
and that while turns into forever
and that forever turns to never

just want someone to be there
just someone who is fair
you are no consolation prize
never in my eyes, so rise
and wake to live this dream
where you mean everything you want to mean
be everything you want to be

you anticipate and make yourself available
but they would never think to wait on you
your time and effort all taken for granted
your frustration, they can’t understand it
tables turn, and they are now your victim
everything is your fault in their convoluted system
rarely take the time to get what’s on your mind
and can’t even sense the pain when you say everything is fine
their life is so much harder than yours as far as they see
of course they don’t care enough to acknowledge that fallacy

you don’t want pity, you’re just selfless
and wished everyone was a little less selfish
you listen and console after all the complaining they do
and all you want is to be able to complain too
especially to the ones you say I love you to
just hold on a little longer, your sorrow isn’t dismissed
the dreams you have will be kissed
longing for the embrace of someone who puts you in 1st place
you may not know this today
but someone loves you every step of the way
you’re only human and someone will understand

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