Monthly Archives: April, 2016

F.E.A.R. (Forget Everything, Act Reckless)

Living careless isn’t the same as living fearless
so let’s not pretend you couldn’t care less
we’ll see how that mentality changes with a family
you are no longer just living for your self
every action you take affects someone else
treating my rationality as a character flaw
like its out of fear and will be my fall
your ignorance apparently makes you invincible
and my knowledge is just an excuse to you
the benefit it’s brought becomes invisible

so let’s smoke, let’s drink, let’s jump off a bridge
cause that’s the only way to live
let’s steal, let’s cheat, let’s die
cause that’s the only way to feel alive
what’s life without a death-wish
forget everything and act reckless

Let’s make mistakes we don’t have to make
because there’s no greater way to test fate
let’s only believe what you want to believe when you want to
ignore religion, science, history, cause consistency has no value
I’m the coward because sometimes I choose to look before I leap
and understand the value of think before you speak
and you’re the brave one that can do no wrong
fearless and careless, makes you the epitome of strong
you’re so brave cause you only live for today
there is no plan for the very next day
just label me as the ball and chain
cause attached to my spine is a brain

I’m a protector, a defender, the lender
but to common sense, no one surrenders
I’m sorry, but no apologies
don’t expect help or pity from me
if you suffer from your own stupidity
I don’t need to hear how it all fell apart
when you ignored me from the start

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Cocaine Sadness

I know i’m not good enough
I can tell from your lack of touch
you don’t have to continue the lies
I can see it in your eyes
with me you seem so unsatisfied
and after so much rejection, a part of me died
I’ve lost my drive to really try
and its not a secret why
my touch doesn’t faze you
you don’t budge at my expressions of love
affection is a foreign concept in our relationship
I still love you, but I’m beginning to hate it
I still love you, but how long can I take it

you’re my drug, without you I’m going through withdrawal
you were my rise but I’m beginning to fall
my high is gone and I need another fix
but I’m not your number one interest
I’m not enough even when I thought I was
try to dilute my dependency, this habit
but then I fall into a cocaine sadness

I’m begging for your touch, but still nothing
you say you like it rough, isn’t that something
cause no matter what I do, the results are the same
we talk it through, but i learn not to expect any change
I try to be your man, but I feel like I’m constantly failing
do you see the damage from all the rejection I’ve taken
I’m not good enough to satisfy you
I don’t want your pity, but I can’t deny you
so I pretend that your desire is real
and that you feel the passion I feel
sometimes it feels real and convincing
but my reality is only real in being fiction

why do men stray? and why do you stay?
out of weakness, out of desire
to feel a touch, to feel loved
to feel wanted is all I ever wanted
but I feel alone and haunted
by the ghosts of everyone else you wanted
everyone you gave yourself to
because they were able to do what I can’t for you
so why waste your time in this comfort zone
when I can’t even satisfy you at home
I promised myself to do the best I can
but I’m no good if I don’t feel like part of your plan
my shortcomings slowly destroys the man I was
I spend each homecoming knowing I’m not enough.

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