Monthly Archives: January, 2017

Too Good for You

we talk a little less than we used to
but maybe that’s because we need to
my heart speeds up when I see you
but we both know that shouldn’t be true
my breath is shallow, but sharp like a knife
why do you make me feel so alive?
is it because we had so many memories together
before you promised someone else your forever
we were always something and never knew it
time passed us by and we never pursued it

I was the jester and you played me like a fool
I was too good to you, too good for you
you were too right for me, too polite to see
that we can, will, and should never be

I get jealous when you laugh at him
we come in first place but it doesn’t mean I win
it’s funny how things work the way they do
how it hurts like this is all new
like I didn’t know you gave someone else your time
sharing intimate memories I thought were solely mine
you miss me only when it’s convenient for you
only when you can’t get it from him, you let me in
I thought we were close, but that was only my definition
obviously you had your own interpretation
I spent so much time waiting and I’m not sure why
hoping you were brave enough to try
to begin to admit that you would never quit me
but history shows you would leave me empty

I know we’re scared to be honest
so we lie to each other about ourselves
deny each other for somebody else
to avoid the complication of our situation
absent is the reality that we should be facing
cause all we do is find replacements
and ignore the slightest of hesitations
accepting things with her, I feel complacent
the doubt that creeps in when you’re with him
so we end when and where the lies begin
and that’s just the way it’s going to be
until you admit to yourself that there’s more to me

The Best Part of Me

she is the best part of me
my best friend, on bad days my worst enemy
that I will always love and appreciate
if we can’t agree, we negotiate
cause we shouldn’t go to bed angry
and if we do, I go to sleep mad at me
we come apart just to come back together
entangled in love, feeling closer than ever
the moments pass, but she is forever
the fire fades, the storm passes, but our love, never

we believe differently, but as long as she believes in me
we keep going,
reaping benefits from the seeds we’re sowing
we go from suppressed to expressive
but a resolution is never neglected
we conclude that we both will be respected
and we piece together two versions of the same story
and for having each other, we give Him the glory
we climb and we fall, then we tear down those walls
there’s no pressure, but a desire to be better
for the one I promise to love forever
cause she’s my queen and we reign supreme together

we learn and grow as a result of one another
consequence of our actions, memories everlasting
satisfaction comes in a variety of forms
and now my once cold thoughts are warm
perspective changes loving someone else
it will always be her before myself
her happiness and health
our love, the infinite supply of wealth
and I’ll be soaking it all up
because there is no such thing as too much

She Will

She will never love me, I’m not her type
she wants someone who will treat her right
not go above and beyond day and night
a man who will never put up a fight
someone taller, someone a little older
with love that never changes, always sober
but mine constantly grows, it’s never over
and I know she knows that I’m here
but life moves fast, she doesn’t even stop and stare
I’m a constant in time, I am always present
but I’m starting to sense a little resentment
I like to imagine we have a connection
but I’m leading myself in the wrong direction

She will take me for granted
for her, it becomes a habit
she will say what she says
but it doesn’t have to mean a thing
she will continue playing on broken strings

Our friendship has always left scars
why doesn’t she check her heart
to remind herself that we’ve come so far
love has been there from the start
a bond that have always had character
we shaped it artfully like a caricature
both playful and deceptive to the outside looking in
where we start is where we end, and she and I end where we begin
cause so many times we act as one
but after today, we’re done
just like that, there is no turning back
everything we worked for just walked out the door
but it should of never came as a surprise
I saw the death of us the last time I looked in her eyes

Why did weeks go by with no love between us?
I asked myself if I was the only one who can see us
I did all I could to please her, make sure her needs were met
and in return I got apologies and excuses
the perfect recipe to make anyone feel useless
but anyone else would of got more effort
and there is no insecurity in my worth
just certainty in how much it hurts
knowing the truth is that things will never change
after talks and promises, years later, still the same
I’d be a fool not to learn from the patterns of our past
the last lie I let her tell me is that this will pass
I’ve heard it too many times before
and now it’s time I say no more

Second Thoughts

Are you happy in your current situation?
are the smiles real or are you faking?
are you going places or are you complacent?
settling because you already made it this far
you share the same bed, 2 kids, a car
no reason to give it all up and start over
not when nothing else is secured
but how can you be sure this is it?
is this where you begin or where you quit?

think twice before you take that dive
a second thought before you become his wife
he says your not a good person
you tell yourself this won’t worsen
does anything about this moment feel right
or are you hoping it all changes overnight

are you just comfortable because this is easy?
don’t have to worry about the unexpected
you know exactly what you’re getting
are you forgetting all the things you don’t want?
all those times you wished things were different
even if it were the same situations with someone different
you would be more motivated to try to make it work
there’s a difference in that and then just letting it hurt
let everything fail on it’s own so he can leave on his own
no guilt, no struggle, no consequences for actions not taken
why blame yourself when there is always someone else?

how can this be the wrong person after so many years?
what are you missing, maybe the void when you’re kissing
the signs were always there, is this freedom or is it prison
if it’s so easy to connect and take comfort in someone else
maybe it’s the perfect time to start listening to yourself
your actions are not agreeing with the words you say, its time to take off
you invested so much and you’re waiting to see the pay off
but what if you’re wrong for waiting?
there is value in being patient
but stupidity in over staying as payment
because you feel indebted to someone else
how can you live for another when you wont live for yourself?

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