Monthly Archives: March, 2017

Jungle Gym

the world is my playground, I toy with it
give me power and I’ll eat it, cause I’m power hungry
I’m the best at what I do
I know you think you something with your girl, acting brand new
without any effort, I’m taking better care of her than you
life becomes effortless when you are your best
no hesitation proving that to the rest
I set goals and attack them with elite precision
every decision I make is the best decision
so many people out there always testing me
but they can’t get a taste of my recipe
they can’t comprehend my alchemy
and I know what is best for me
I’m going to do what’s best for me
any imitators can settle being less than me

I pray every way I go is the right way
obstacles are just child’s play
til my dying day, I’m always gonna find a way
I’m the king, and all I know is how to win
this world is my play thing, my jungle gym

I don’t play games, I just take names
so I can hand out consolation prizes
no surprises, I always perform at the highest
it’s the only thing I know how to do
and if I lose, it’s because I choose to
I don’t care who you are, I won’t lose to you
I’m always on another level that can’t even be seen
I’m sorry, you even lose to me in your dream
and I know that’s not fair, but should I care?
no competition since you can’t win without my permission
your life goals I accomplish in my sleep
but outside of competition I’m humble and meek
carefully chosen are the words I speak
so every promise, claim, bet, is absolutely deliberate

I slow down so that life has a chance to catch up
it taps out when I’ve given it enough
non-confrontational but I still don’t hide
I don’t back down, I don’t bide
my footsteps are too big for you to walk in
so don’t waste my time with all that gully talk
cause you have no idea of the storm you taunt tonight
I’m a new level of dominance that would haunt you for life
hang it up now and I promise to be polite
I have a reputation for being a man of my word
so if I say I already won, its the greatest truth you’ve heard
no hesitation, life is lived with an ounce of desperation
everything I do is consequential
carefully thought through, success is sequential
I know my strengths and weaknesses
can’t keep up, I can imagine how bleak this is
if it’s not for me, then I simply don’t do it
I don’t compromise, but you make sure the shoe fits
that’s the difference between me and you
the difference between win and lose

Clarity

I try to control my mind
but sometimes the mind wonders
wonders where would we be
how would we do things differently
how would you look at me
if we shared the same home
if we were both alone

wouldn’t that be a turn of events
if there were less of a mystery to present
because I knew you so well
if I were there to catch you when you fell
what would we be in our moment of clarity
how different would life by if you were with me

what do you see in me when you stare?
is it emptiness, or is something there?
does my sensitivity give a false sense of fragility?
or do you embrace the thought of me?
who led who down this path?
the thought seems to linger
out of many, i’m still a beginner
of all the ones from the past
will I be the first to last?

misled by a strong sense of ambition
or do you also feel that something is missing
when we are apart, when it’s after dark
something constantly fuels my desire
and something about you sets off a spark
my heart’s in flames if ever you say my name
but does it get spoken from your tongue
what if I’m not the one for you?
what am I suppose to do if that is true?
been so full of myself and what I want to be
never considered what if you don’t want me

Lion’s Den

It hurts when someone thinks the worst of you
like they have no recollection of knowing you
your character, your behavior over the years
carries no weight in the eye of your peers
misinterpreted despite it seeming out of character
but there’s no benefit of the doubt, just an ex-factor
a simple miscommunication and you are the worst
like every damn thing in life is suppose to be rehearsed
no mistakes, just the double standard of perfection
everything I do is wrong, even when its in the right direction
paint me as a monster with your alternative facts
show me your real age in the way you act
you blew up no questions asked, over nothing
yet I’m the fucking screw up, ain’t that something

 

too much time spent in the lion’s den
you start to lose sight of foe from friend
where does the trust begin, where does it end
the only way out of the lion’s mouth
is to choose someone you can do without

apparently we’re not equally responsible for our actions
no accountability in the absurdity in your overreactions
you accuse me of libel and slander, taking everything out of context
to justify and stake your claim in the biggest asshole contest
I have to make peace in a war I didn’t start
I have to be real but you get to play a part
I admit I slip, I own up to my mistakes
but I seem to be the only one making them
at all times, its me apologizing and yet I’m the bad friend
I’m described as a cold soul because I supposedly don’t care
but when you need someone I’m the first one there
always available if you ever needed me to be
but for whatever reasons, you still don’t believe in me

I overestimated how well you knew me
and underestimated how well I knew you
people like you make me a recluse
but I refuse to stand here creating excuses
all we have in common is strife
I recuse myself from your personal life
I’m responsible for every decision I make
every word I say, every action I take
and it was my mistake
but I’m not mad, being so would mean that I care
that was once the case, but I’m no longer there
I’m checking out, there’s nothing good about the route we’re on
you’ve push me off the cliff and now I’m so far gone

Never Satisfied

I rise early with a mind full of thoughts
contemplating every decision I’ve ever made
every dollar spent, every penny saved
I should be rested, but I’m so tired
so restless from the chaos my mind conspires
tormented because I’ll never be satisfied
yet unimpressed by the thought of a perfect life
I feel the knife piercing the back of my head
when I lay down, I feel the weight of lead
the weight of the world on my shoulders
I close my eyes embracing the thought of it being over
there is so much to desire, fantasies so sublime
I want it all, all at once, or just over time
I can never make up my damn mind

I can’t be sure if she’ll ever be mine
I can’t be sure if I’ll have enough time
to live the life I want to live
cause I’ll never be satisfied knowing there’s more
I’m never satisfied just being alive

I apply logic to every decision I make
a rational approach to every action I take
not a man to live spur of the moment
there’s always a plan, premeditated, and I own it
but if spontaneity weighs on me
I know how to let go and be free
but that’s just not me on a daily basis
time creates opportunity, and I won’t waste it
there’s is always something on my mind
always seeking answers with the mentality seek and you shall find
I’m a know it all that still doesn’t know enough
the life of the party, but not entertaining enough
but nothing is enough, even when I have too much

I’m on a quest for more, my mind is never satisfied
a taste and hunger for more, insatiable appetite
I think I know what I want, but I’m not really sure
cause when I have it, I still want something more
and there is always something about the greener grass
I love everything that I have, but I also love her ass
I don’t want to own, yet I’m saving for a home
I want no debt, yet I date the queen of student loans
I make sense to myself, but to no one else
I’m selfish with everyone, but myself
I know what I want, but then I don’t
I know what I want, but I’m not really sure
I won’t be indecisive anymore
or will I?
I can’t be sure

Editor’s Choice

you pour your heart out into your work
with desperation and no fear of being hurt
you lay it all out on the table
hoping in some way they connect and it saves them
in a way that someone else’s words saved you
you pray what you do is more than means to an end
but everyone pretends they care to comprehend
damned is the life you put in to your art
when it sits on a shelf but not in a cart
not stacked with the bestsellers but beneath them
so it goes overlooked like it has no meaning
underappreciated despite the difference it could make
a little too real to be honored with the popular

if it ain’t on a list
then it doesn’t mean shit
Editor’s choice is the law, the word
so your voice goes unheard
you go unnoticed, your work undeserving
no awards, no merit, so no one will hear it

everything you do is subject to review
where opinions become law
subjectivity determines if you rise or fall
your success rests in the hands of a man who doesn’t agree with you
he refuses to see the ways your art is beautiful
maybe there is a misinterpretation
his beauty isn’t what beauty means to you
you’re on the inside looking outside to your critics
they are on the outside and just don’t always get it
who do you have to pay, who do you have to stroke
just to be noticed enough to get a vote

It’s award season, but you weren’t nominated
were you not good enough to be appreciated
did you not work hard enough to be acknowledged
such confidence your work would of left them astonished
if only anyone had given it a chance
if the right critic has just taken a glance
your artistic vision wasn’t as good as his
although his audience were men, and yours kids
but everyone thinks they know best
and a decision was made, implying you are no better than the rest
an artist who thrives for mediocrity, working with no cares
cause we all thrive to have inferior work to our peers
you had the audacity to produce something with such inadequacy
but you keep fighting because it doesn’t have to end unhappily
when the time’s right, you’ll be king of your own academy

The Only One

I work to, try to do better too
but this world won’t let me forget you
the many places that I’ve been
every reflection I see your face in
always was a part of me
my lover and my worst enemy
spiteful to me, yet full of empathy
twists my words so that I’m never heard
lay my head to rest each night
knowing we’ll just never get it right

and yet I love you so
don’t want you to go
cause you are the only one

do my best to keep you around
give you a ring, my key, my crown

I stay up all day and all night
I work, I put in work, I fight
I fight for no one, I fight for someone
I am lonesome, I am the only one
the sun no longer shines at my door
no, no, no, not anymore

I too many times played the fool
lost in my commitment to you
foolishly thinking I could of ever won
when every thing I did was wrong
if I ever expressed distress
I no longer received your best
I always pretended that I didn’t come second
and that we were equally each other’s blessing
I’m the knife in my own back
I’ve betrayed myself taking a look back
dragging my feet down your road
knowing it leads somewhere cold

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