Category Archives: Project RGB

Project RGB Epilogue: The End of Our Era

I wish you well and I wish you hell
for all the pain you put me through
but I try to believe this wasn’t you
that your heart had not yet healed
so I was only a rebound, nothing real
It was my decision to be fully invested
despite you telling me you can’t fully invest yet
so I admit my faults, and take some of the blame
but with your decisions, I hoped you’d do the same
I was patient and believed you were worth the wait
but you showed affection, you didn’t hesitate
you made it clear you wanted me here
but soon pretended like I wasn’t there
everything found a way to matter more than I did
and my frustration, I tried to hide it
to spare you any unnecessary stress
I gave my all, my best
so many good memories
all the moments you shared with me
but it went overshadowed and neglected
and I was left feeling disrespected
I always asked you to tell me to stop
if you needed more space or time
because I wanted you to find
yourself before anything with me
but you said you enjoyed your time with me
I wasn’t perfect, but I was always fair
and if you had really cared
the least you could of done
was say I’m not the one
rather than stringing me along
feeding me lies
never looking in my eyes
you used and manipulated me
but I was selectively blind not to see
I thought we had such a good thing
but once you were ready
you didn’t come to me, you went to him
so let this be our finale, this is our end
Goodbye R.G.B.
farewell former friend

This is the end of our era
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22.) Swan Song

I gave you all I had
nothing more left in me
and it was sad to see
I’m not what you were looking for
being the guy that I am
I tried understanding your plan
but you gave me no closure
and I thought maturity came as we got older
but you had no regard for my pain
and it was such a shame
to witness how selfish you’ve become
every good thought of you being undone

After today, you just become a regret
my favorite one, I won’t forget
you are just a memory
to remind myself how you won’t remember me
how irrelevant I was to you
but still wished I got through to you
I invested so much
to get so little
barely felt your touch
my desire for you, a riddle
we never made sense together
but I wanted our elusive moments forever

If I knew this is how we would be leaving
I would have wanted you for all the wrong reasons
try to get inside you like every other guy
but I don’t know why
I saw so much potential
why I saw so much in you
but thank you for the memories
and the lessons learned
for igniting the fight in me
and the way my heart burned
If you ever came back
honestly don’t know how I’d react
I don’t know that I would say “no”
don’t know if I could tell you to “go”
you had such a big part of me
left me feeling so empty
nothing about our collapse made sense
and I was so into you
guess I couldn’t foresee what was so predictable
but you will never tell me the words I want to hear
and it’s time I move on…so goodbye my dear

21.) R.G.B.

I can say I loved you because I know you’ll never read this

every ounce of time with you was our little secret

you will never hear these words because you didn’t want to

had an interest in me, but didn’t want me to want you

I’ve written an album of songs because of you

through the good and the bad, I still find you beautiful

You were the hardest I ever fought for anything in life

a part of me believed that you could be my wife

but I was wrong about us for all that time

I was so much yours, but you were never mine

I was blinded and constantly reminded of your presence

I would of given you the world, shower you in presents

I thought all I had was going to be enough

you were a diamond, but your life was in the rough

and I wanted to be there to make it better

at least I thought we would do so together

 

Seduced by the passion of your kiss

so much about you I miss

I envied all that touched your body

just let me know that, to you, I am somebody

you left me mad, I was a man down

depression sets it knowing you’ll never come around

you made me feel Red, Green, Blue

I was so color blind in love with you

 

It all started when we finally stopped

resisting that feeling and took a shot

I was so consumed by you that I didn’t care

for so long, things between us didn’t seem fair

I made sure you had the best of me

and you took it upon yourself to let me

know I can’t have the best of you

now please, I’m begging, help me forget you

our time has expired, and my heart is past due

I thought we were mature, thought we could manage

but look at us now, so distant, so damaged

I guess you found what you were searching for

because your confidence in me is no more

 

I fought so hard, but you have no clue

of all the pain that you put me through

Every letter I sent that never got a response

All of them, you didn’t think twice to write back once?

All I needed was you in my life for my soul to be satisfied

but all I’m left with are questions and stains from the tears I cried

I tried to get through to you that everything will be ok

to provide your health and protection I prayed

I tried to show you that your life didn’t have to be a battle

but fighting was your forte so consequently you had to

declare war on what you can’t control and then complain

I still remained at your side to share your pain

I told you I could no longer do this alone

so you walked without once picking up the phone

to let me know that we are done

to let me know you always knew I wasn’t the one

found it ok to leave me without closure

to this day, you never told me it was over

but with you, I will always remember

that during all that time, I deserved better

20.) My Resignation (Blue)

I will not be your comfort zone
I will no longer be a 2nd home
when you want somewhere to be
that place will no longer be with me
you let me down in such a destructive way
so full of games that I will not play
for too long I entertained
all the screwed up things in your brain
all of the hypocrisy that I let slide
because it was in me you confide
the lies I told to protect you from yourself
the lengths I went for no one else

the pain that I endured
because you gave me no closure
never told me it was over
left me alone, feeling so wrong
it’s time I resign and move on

I won’t be there by your side
I won’t check if you’re alright
you lost the right, to have the best of me
you don’t even deserve my worst
it was you who abandoned me first
I was always there in your time of need
but not once did you ask about me
never showed interest in how I was doing
left me to find out on my own, I’m not the man you’re pursuing
sabotaged a good thing, left us as a ruin
hurt people, hurt people and I get that
but it’s not like you ever wanted me back
never expressed any remorse
for the course you took with me, your friend
not once did you explain why we reached an end

If you took responsibilities for your actions
I’m sure none of this would have happened
even if things didn’t work out between us
we would still have some sort of trust
some type of bond, someone to lean on
but don’t come to me looking for help
I leave you as you left me, alone, by yourself
you were never there when I needed you
only around if it benefited you
your sincerity has lost all value
I don’t trust a word that comes from you
you stand by your claim of integrity
but your heart is hollow, you’re shallow, you’re empty
and I’ve dealt with your bullshit plenty
now pretend like you never met me
because to me, you are a void in my memory

 

19.) The Letter (Blue)

540 days after we first met, 186 days after we first kissed…

you became an illusion

an idea I should dismiss

your kisses irrelevant

because they no longer represent

who we both thought you were

a different woman from the one I fell for…

 

I care about you more than others could comprehend

I would of fought for you til the very end

I did for you what no one else would

I was the only one to believe you were any good

but this makes no difference to you

so I can no longer pursue

this one sided affair

You’ve shown how little you care

how little you have invested

how ugly you can really be

you were too unstable to mess with

so I place that blame on me

 

So much sacrifice

trying to get it right

our future looked so bright

ironic

a bulb blew as I write about you tonight…

 

there’s not much left to say

as your lack of response

it said more than enough

I wrote you too many times

not to hear one word

you wanted someone to write

and that’s why this hurts

none of this made any sense

but I can no longer expend

time on a false, conditional friend

we have reached the end of our time

I’ve written my final letter…I resign

 

18.) So Easy (Blue)

If I was such a good person
why was it so easy for you to leave me?
was it just because I was so kind to you
you were only nice to please me?

Why was it so easy for you to deceive me?
so easy for you to mislead me?
so easy for you to mistreat me?
greedy for affection, so did you need me?
to feed your ego until you were ready to let go?
Did I make it so easy for you to leave me?

I thought you were someone to depend on
but you showed me that I was so wrong
and I believed you were so strong
but turned out to be so cowardly
so afraid that you would hurt me
that you chose to desert me
without any closure
it was over

It’s so easy for me to say I hate you
but all this pain I know you can relate too
still you did what you did anyway
involved me in the games you play
and it was so easy for me to stay
so easy for you to have my heart
and so easy for us to fall apart
so easy for you to move on after so long
so hard for me to comprehend what went wrong

17.) I Knew it was Over (Blue)

Be jealous of how much my heart broke because of you

remember how much it pained me when I lost you

because now you know how much I truly cared

and it answers your question of why no good men are out there

you throw them away and I was another victim

with me one day, next thing, you’re with him

you didn’t want to hurt or let me down

but instead made me look and feel like a clown

still, I don’t hold it against you

everyone thinks Its my right to resent you

but I can’t do that

something holds me back

even if I’m I’m angry and upset

I still don’t have an ounce of regret

I complain then defend your name

because I choose to feel your pain

 

I knew it was over when you couldn’t love me

felt it the last time you hugged me

our last kiss, I knew it was our last

that moment, I knew I became your past

 

you held grudges that kept us apart

there was a darkness still left in you heart

and I wasn’t the remedy to help you heal

so I hoped, but knew that you would never feel

for me in a way that would matter

but still, I didn’t expect my heart to shatter

the way it did, my bid for you wasn’t enough

I couldn’t convince you that I was enough

there was the time you drank too much

so hungover the next day, you stood me up

cancelled on us, what you did was so wrong

but guess your admission of guilt was a turn on

cause I stuck around to fall for it again

pretending I didn’t know this was our end

 

You stopped looking me in the eyes

feeling guilty from all of your lies

but you still continued, didn’t you?

I wasn’t worth being true to

I caught on to them, but never called you out

because I wasn’t looking for a way out

I pushed myself to hold on

knowing you were so wrong

knowing we were so wrong

but I wanted you for so long

I kept going, knowing I was so wrong

we were so wrong

 

16.) CA to VA (Blue)

A cross country honey with an appetite for money

It was my misfortune to fall for an Oakland raider

at the same time I could hate her, but still want to date her

there was something with her that was so right, so wrong

something that entangled me, turned me on

something more than a sex symbol with southern charm

it was her vulnerability that made me approach

her vivid accounts of a dark and vibrant past, still I didn’t reproach

self respecting woman looking for a new beginning

I took the dive to be a part of her life

to be the first man to get it right

but I was caught up, too kind, too blind

to see she was wasting my time

 

So what if we were so different

I was a fool if I didn’t…

Two worlds apart, she still has my heart

she holds it together as we fall apart

From CA to VA, she won’t find love today

and I won’t find her love this way

 

She’s the queen of the LA Kings

I tell her I’ll make sure they win

embracing my arrogance, she had me so far gone

I was so sure after past failures, that I finally won

but after so long, our journey had just begun

Time was always against us, but I accepted it

my patience on the line, she tested it

she had her own life and I respected it

as long as it didn’t leave us neglected

but her broken heart had a different agenda

I was an artificial fix, I was her Splenda

her focus was lost somewhere over there

little concern for what she had over here

 

15.) Blue

depression sets in

I accept that your heart, I cannot win

I’ve lost, I’m lost

I am missing, left in a void

 

avoid me, my broken soul

I grow bitter and I grow cold

a broken man, yet again in repair

because you could not care

you would not fight as I fought

and you were the warrior? I thought

my vision of you is disrupted

the sadness you bring goes uninterrupted

it consumes me as it once engulfed you

we are now one in the same…Blue

 

dejected in the prime of our lives

rejected, tears fill our eyes

hollow to this common feeling of rejection

this is heartbreak’s resurrection

14.) Ghost (Green)

I wanted so much to be the man to make you happy
loved when I told jokes and you playfully slapped me
waking up each morning to see your beautiful face
kissing your lips just to get a taste
of your sugar, everything that makes you sweet
loving you from your head to your feet
We lock hands, then we turn and lock eyes
your hand on my chest as mine rests on your thigh
in love with your soft fair skin and your straight brown hair
you didn’t like your blemishes, but I didn’t care
none of your flaws had ever phased me
so whenever you doubted yourself, it drove me crazy
I was proud to have you, to call you my baby

your scent reminds me of the beautiful moments we share…
or the ones we didn’t, because you were never there
you lead me on so that you can let me down
you want me there, but its you that’s never around
I was there whenever you needed me the most
but where were you for me?…GHOST

I reserved moments in time for us to connect
but whenever you found time, you seem to forget
that I existed, that we even made plans
the times you stood me up because you couldn’t stay sober
I should of known then that we were over
when you left for months at a time
I waited, eager for your return
but in that time, you took it upon yourself
to set fire and watch our bridges burn
when I would travel coast to coast
felt like I was sleeping with a ghost
I wrote, I called, but you never picked up the phone
like you didn’t want me to come back home
it’s like we were never real, nothing about us existed
I tried for your love and you persisted then resisted

where were you after all that time?
breadcrumb trail of all the signs
that said we would be together
but this reality said never
you were just a ghost haunting my mind
another false vision wasting my time
Told my family how much you meant to me
just to go home every holiday feeling empty
cause you weren’t there by my side
being there for me, you were no where in sight
I was too polite to call out your bluff
too stubborn to tell you I’ve had enough
now I’m alone with just our memories
of everything you pretended to be

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