Out of Bounds (The Unsatisfied Man)

it took all of 1 day to know its real
to confirm everything I’ve felt in past years, this is how I feel
I’ll never be able to fully love my wife
not because I don’t want to, but because she is in my life
and I love her more
I think a mind is better than a body or a face
and there’s a difficult reality I must face
she has something I want and that’s to be mentally stimulated
from 2 different worlds but our bond assimilated
the thought of what could never happen leaves me agitated
cause damn, we related, and if we tried, we would of made it
I’m not looking for someone new or to be replaced
but sometimes you find things that seem to be out of place
which is where my heart resides, a truth that leaves such a bitter taste
truth is I don’t mind it as much as I should, I’m conflicted
I made a vow, I owe this to her, I owe this to myself
should of had enough foresight to know life could take me somewhere else
but the love is real, it’s been there, remained there, but I still fear…
knowing there’s still someone else, I’ll never be satisfied til I live another life

I love my life, I love my wife, but I love his wife
I think about her day and night
I want her to ruin my life, it could be nice
my thoughts are out of bounds, out of mind, but she’s always on mine
she’ll never be mine, but what does that change
my heart is still out of range, things will never be the same

I spent time contemplating my options like I really have any
I’m stuck, life is on a loop, but this is my own doing
you never know what life throws at you in the future you’re pursuing
but sometimes you have to live in the moment
even when it doesn’t agree with you, you own it
like meeting the love of your life after you marry your wife
what matters more, loving yourself enough to acknowledge this truth
or loving your wife enough to bury it
life is long and I’m still in my youth, so there’s a lifetime to go
how can we say anything we want is wrong, I don’t know
there’s something so tragic about it all, reality is a liability
I can keep a secret but some truths have no deniability
and whether I express it or not, eventually it’ll be easy to see
she is a big part of my life, but somebody else completes me

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Desperate, Love

Just a means to no end
I forget that we’re not just friends
but lovers who like to pretend
we’re strangers in love
and I can’t love you enough
I can’t love you, it’s too much
so much that we do together
all the times I wish were forever
never do I think of you
look what you put me through
the best moments of my life
the cruelty and the strife
I’m lucky to be alive
but without you, how do I survive?

try to fall out of love with me
we can becomes like strangers
forget ever meeting friends and family
you are far too dangerous for my sanity
let’s argue, we’re too good to be true
tell me what we are suppose to do

I’m so desperate for your love
those cold winters, we aren’t cold enough
we’re far too desperate, Love, it will never work
we need a respite from being burdened with hurt

what a waste of potential we are
we’ve come all this way but still remain far
we need to communicate and air it out
the conversations we could do without
but that leaves a mess in the wake of our storm
so let’s be a disaster, as beautiful as ever
let’s fall apart in dramatic fashion, atrophy
a train-wreck, mass casualty
victims of our own circumstances
oh how I love your sinister glances
happenstance all too perfectly crafted to be by chance
everything happens for a reason, life is what we make it
and season after season we continue to fake it

I haven’t known what I wanted since the day that I met you
I can’t forget you and I’m destined to regret the day we met
you know too much about me, some type of stalker
but you got me walking on clouds, Skywalker
life handed us lemons and we made Limoncello
more complexities and possibilities from the first hello
we are such a tease, should of let you go…nowhere
I hold on to you my dear
longer than I should, longer than anyone would
but as bad as we are together, we’re still too good

Borrow your Heart

I wish I knew how to say goodbye
I want to hug and kiss you, tell you that I’ll miss you
but I got issues and conflicts of interest
cause those actions are not in our best interest
I shouldn’t be missing you the way I do
I shouldn’t be embarrassing myself, actin’ a fool
I know what a need to do but don’t know if I want to do it
ask for my confessions and you’ll get them, true shit
pour out my heart and soul, every secret ready to be told
bleeding out, wounds heal but broken hearts don’t
I should let my love for you lay with the rest, but I won’t
move on like the rest of them, but I can’t, you are the best of them

and I can’t let go of yesterday, not today
not anymore, not when I’m at your door
telling you to leave him and let me in
I can’t start tomorrow drowning in sorrow
so may I borrow your heart for my benefit
time is short and I want to be yours til the end of it

There’s nothing ordinary about our affections
in the past hundred years my loyalties have been in your direction
from my crush to my love to my obsession
I go from zealous to jealous when I see you entertain anyone but us
I know that I’m the right man and you’re my right hand
under the influence of the right circumstances
I can tell you feel what I feel from unashamed glances
if we just did for a moment what we wanted to and took chances
we’d surprise no one because they all know it’s true
that I’m not meant to get over but to be under you

I think I’m making progress then I relapse
my walls, my barriers, my guards all collapse
in your absence I like to think I can hold my own
but as long as your here, I can’t leave you alone
everyone knows that I want you
but they also know that I shouldn’t want to
my services are employed elsewhere
and you have your own staff over there
I entertained you and I in a one night stand
but now I see you as part of my life’s plan
don’t know how we got this far, it shouldn’t of been possible
but I know if you want something, there’s no stopping you
so don’t stop and I’ll know exactly what to do

What Do I Do?

I was your groupie, your biggest fan
I let you use me, even not being your man
you were my oracle, my muse
so I guess I used you
all my success and fame
attached to your one name
my greatest works of art
all have a piece of your heart
under the influence of your mind
is how I spend most of my time
lusting for inspiration, you have my attention
falling for the flesh, can you feel the tension
this wasn’t suppose to happen, I’m a fool
doing the one thing I can’t undo
how did I fall in love with you?

so what am I without you?
where do I go, what do I do?
when you leave, what becomes of me
I need you like the world needs me

your eyes and smile captivate me
your body resuscitates everything I want to be
imagine what I can be to you if you allow me to
now I can’t stop thinking about you
one song turned to ten
10 turned to 20 and then…
there’s no end in sight, my mind dreams plenty
forever doesn’t intimidate me when it comes to you
I want to create something new with you
I fantasize about a different life when I look in your eyes
a life with you, I swear I tell no lies

I’m attached to your time
you distract me in every way, that’s fine
my mind is constantly trying to make you mine
cause if I had to choose
you would be much more than a muse
much more than my inspiration
more than any amount of motivation
you are my destination
at the beginning I had my reservations
but through thoughtful conversation
I loved your mind, no hesitation
thoughts of your body, my persuasion
you are everything, my reason for celebration

Friday Waves

100% sarcastic, but you only get me half the time
I’m rhyme and reason, but you only get the rhyme
and I wouldn’t have the patience for your condescension and sass
if you were half as fine with half the ass
but where we begin is where we end
here’s to everyone you’ve loved who isn’t me
celebration is in order for this irony
we can confidently say we are complimentary to one another
there is an inability to foresee a reality where we don’t have each other
there can’t be ramifications for the actions we never take
but there’s no solace in the mistakes we didn’t make
damn, if we didn’t hesitate, imagine the memories we could create

we go back and forth and back to it
I know your worth, that’s why I attack it
from the front to the back we’re at it again
just a friend, a means to an end
I’m just riding waves Monday to Friday
waiting for Friday to wave back my way

I want to keep you around but how do we do that?
scattered thoughts about you, how do we put it back?
sometimes I love you, sometimes I don’t want to
but I can’t let go or maybe I don’t want to
because if not me, then someone else will love you
but that someone will never touch you the way I do
so how can we move forward side-stepping the situation
how many scenarios I’ve gone through in contemplation
I don’t want to put you in this position to hate me
but I dwell on the times you said “take me”
I knew you would marry the next guy you dated
so why would I bother to meet the next guy I hated
I didn’t want to settle for 1st mate
2nd runner up, 3rd strike, I’m out of chances
I was illiterate seemingly missing all your advances

All I want to do is share one dance with you
love you harder than anyone else could
but I’m no good, I’ve never been good
and nothing I want could ever be, or ever would
time is everything, I don’t want to miss a minute
time stopped when I determined you lived within it
but it’s simply not enough
to have a life time wasted without your love
and I’m chillin in limbo riding the waves
for years upon weeks upon days
anticipating the nothing that follows
when you wait on something so hollow
just to face a reality that’s hard to swallow

Cigars and Pixie Sticks

Don’t stretch my love too far, we just started
the idea of me and you leaves scars, my future is brokenhearted
we go together like cigars and pixie sticks
life has thrown us into the mix
something about us doesn’t add up
I took 50 shots for you and hit 60 bricks
there’s no settling when you fight for a friend
but there’s always going to be love for you in the end
I would of fallen in love with you in another life
you would of been my muse, my mistress and my wife
we may never be together
but that’s not to say we weren’t meant for each other
we are challenging to say the least
but in the midst of all our chaos, you bring me peace
when I have all my riches, it’s with you I want to feast
so save room in your heart for me, would you please

we’re too different, we wouldn’t be compatible
I’ve heard every possible reason out of you
we go together like cigars and pixie sticks
something doesn’t stir you well, we don’t mix
we’re strangers doing the strangest things
I recklessly let you in, chaos is what we bring

We’ve earned our rankings among the greatest
Hall of fame contenders in a game we haven’t played yet
but the fans keep cheering as we continue to slay it
we know what we are, so there’s no reason to say it
even when the dust settles, things aren’t as clear as they should be
despite our differences, the question is where and what would we be
if things were easy, but the epitome of us is the lack of simplicity
we are filled with frivolity, but your value is something I take seriously
chemistry is at our core, even when we try to forget
take it back to when we first met
first impressions carry little weight now
though I couldn’t let go of mine if I even knew how
you were exotic, intoxicating, almost erotic
and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time
we could be a catalyst for some of the best times
if we could for a moment be out of our minds

we go back and forth so much, we’re rowing in the Olympics
I have so many secrets, but you still know all my business
you know way more about me than I know about you
is that how it’s supposed to be, cause I’m used to being the mystery
no one has been less readable, but we’re filled with predictability
not to say it’s a bad thing, I just know what I’m getting when I let you in
our bond is a brand and I sell it with pride
we go through some things, but I don’t hide
some days the timing is wrong and the line to get through to you is long
and I start thinking what type of shit my heart’s on to be so strong
biased towards you, so many free passes even when you’re wrong
we go days without talking to prove a point we can do without each other
but even if we could, why would we begin to bother
you’ve always been dangerous for my security
but nothing about you worries me
It’s all about the life I don’t have and the one I want
you can give me the life I want to flaunt

The Only One

I work to, try to do better too
but this world won’t let me forget you
the many places that I’ve been
every reflection I see your face in
always was a part of me
my lover and my worst enemy
spiteful to me, yet full of empathy
twists my words so that I’m never heard
lay my head to rest each night
knowing we’ll just never get it right

and yet I love you so
don’t want you to go
cause you are the only one

do my best to keep you around
give you a ring, my key, my crown

I stay up all day and all night
I work, I put in work, I fight
I fight for no one, I fight for someone
I am lonesome, I am the only one
the sun no longer shines at my door
no, no, no, not anymore

I too many times played the fool
lost in my commitment to you
foolishly thinking I could of ever won
when every thing I did was wrong
if I ever expressed distress
I no longer received your best
I always pretended that I didn’t come second
and that we were equally each other’s blessing
I’m the knife in my own back
I’ve betrayed myself taking a look back
dragging my feet down your road
knowing it leads somewhere cold