Tag Archives: friends

House Collapse/Paradise Lost

So many hours went into securing the foundations
taking the proper steps to ensure stable relations
we moved slow even with open roads ahead
but you moved full speed with the ideas in your head
we used to make light about certain things
but I saw the darkness in you that light brings
we started out as a means to an end
then we turned out to be great friends
but greatness was undone by a terrible trend
you making everything about yourself
the purest of intentions could be for no one else
my actions have to be about you because to me you mean something
or is everything about you because I truly mean nothing
was any of this really time well spent
you’ve always been apprehensive of my intent
you had a high cost, now hearing your name makes me tense
there was a price to pay and now I’m spent

we went from making to becoming history
you targeted our foundation like it was premeditated
like I’ve wronged you in a way that wasn’t communicated
but we’re adults, I thought we’d discuss problems properly
but in your eyes, I’m a thief of your happiness, stole your intellectual property
I don’t get the benefit of the doubt
before the words came out your mouth
false realities bring truth to false prophecies
you succeeded if your goal was to topple me, gain sympathy
but you also did manage to execute an end to us
and I just don’t think you gave a fuck
maybe its not real, that’s just how I feel
my heart’s broken, I don’t know how to heal
there’s a savagery in you I can’t compete with
there’s no proper ending…fuck, I can’t complete this…

 
I am the villain in your eyes
I destroyed your paradise
if only you knew how much I gave to you
how much you meant, how much I would do
I prayed that I would never lose a friend again
but it all falls down
our house still collapsed in the end

I’ve made decisions that jeopardizes our friendship
I’ve been conflicted on how to approach this
its been ridiculous and I’m tired of being the antagonist
I’ve lost a good friend and feel like shit
I’m angry, I’m confused, I’m upset
but I can’t pretend this isn’t a matter of respect
things were said that I won’t forget
I was in a tough place, choosing between the two
but I put family first, choosing her over you
I can apologize for any miscommunication
but I don’t think that remedies our situation
I can apologize for everything
and it doesn’t change anything
cause I’d be the only apologetic one
in matters where I felt no one was wrong
but you felt that I was the only one
I was inconsiderate, I can’t be trusted
well, damn, I could just say fuck it, but…
it doesn’t leave me satisfied
knowing you will never understand why
you’ll never know how much I really valued you
if only you believed anything I said was true
I wish we could of talked face to face
I admit you are someone I can’t replace
I don’t like how far apart we’re getting at this pace
reduced to admiring you from a faraway place

We are a paradise lost, potential untapped
and I don’t know if we can go back
what we once were was real to me
now your absence brings me peace but leaves me empty
I’m in my head and my world is filled with silence
at war with my inaction, so much violence
I don’t know what to make of this inconsequential crisis
waiting to see what time heals when left to its own devices
I just know I’m tired of fighting, I don’t want to do it no more
but I shouldn’t stop you from walking through that door

our house collapsed, our paradise is lost

Advertisements

What Was Said

we used to be good friends
and we had a good thing
I thought you had let me in
I hate that we end, but love is where we begin
impressed by your impressions
your eyes, your smile, your dimples
added complexity to a life too simple
your mind complimented mine
not that you knew how to receive a compliment of mine
but its the little things that made the difference
and differences are what brought about our end
if only you knew, to me, I’m losing a best friend

how do we come back from what was said
I’ve made my peace, you’ve made your bed
we said what was said and sometimes we can take it back
what was said went a little too far
what was said showed us who we really are
we said what was said, and then we were off track
derailed for good, some things we can’t take back

I let so few people in my circle
I know I may of been hard work for you
I thought there was a mutual understanding
that we’re together no matter what happens
we were having such a good run
too many memories to discount all the fun
I became addicted to your personality
we were comfortable, you did away with the formality
we were filled with natural chemistry
signaling everything that was meant to be
I can’t tell where it all went wrong
and I’m still figuring out how to move on
but I know this will be our swan song

I wish things could of been different in the end
I wish you were still my friend
I can tell you that so much will change
now that you are so far out of range
I personally thought you made my life better
but relationships can change like the weather
you switched on me like we had no history
and now I wonder if you’re ever missing me
but I know the bigger picture isn’t about you, it’s about me
I made a decision out of self respect
there was a line and it crossed into disrespect
people used to warn me, beware
but I always thought the love would be there
this is a reality check for the ages
love is conditional, and some friendships are just phases

Secondhand News

why am I always last to know
why do I always hear it from somebody else
when you can just tell me yourself
have you lost confidence in me and what you want
cause I used to be your top confidant
then something changed in a way I can’t explain
I fell to second, third place, then eventually out the race, entirely
why does it feel like you fired or retired me
despite always being in your corner quietly
loud when I needed to be, your critics couldn’t silence me
but you hit mute, I get radio silence. I don’t understand
I get the details about you from another man
who should know you better than you and I
I just want to know who, what and why

I used to be your right-hand man
now I’m your second mate, second rate,
second place backup plan
i’m no longer part of your life’s plan
I care but feel misunderstood, misused
everything I hear is secondhand news

what changed? my status, or is it yours, or is it ours
we used to keep each other informed, on the hour
but something’s changed, I just don’t get it
our history, I can’t begin to forget it
but I’m starting to regret it
all those times I confided, poured out my heart
thinking it would be reciprocated by you, my counterpart
but I’m starting to see through the facade
and I must applaud your efforts to make me believe I meant something
but I was the back up plan when everyone else gave you nothing
maybe there’s a bit a jealousy in me that’s talking
but I’ve invested too much to become a second option
I thought I had your respect, but respect devolved to neglect

You ask about me only when I walk away
and even then it still depends on the day
I miss the trust we used to have
through the seasons we had each other’s back
but now my winters become colder
my weekends become sober
the wind blows me to an island of solitude
I set sail the moment you bailed during our feud
the costs for you was high, but I didn’t mind the prices
on the other hand, I was just a tool to be used for your own devices
am I being dramatic or does everything feel so one-sided
I debated if I should say something or continue to hide it
I’m not sure anything at this point would make a difference
just got to move on and learn to reciprocate your indifference

Cigars and Pixie Sticks

Don’t stretch my love too far, we just started
the idea of me and you leaves scars, my future is brokenhearted
we go together like cigars and pixie sticks
life has thrown us into the mix
something about us doesn’t add up
I took 50 shots for you and hit 60 bricks
there’s no settling when you fight for a friend
but there’s always going to be love for you in the end
I would of fallen in love with you in another life
you would of been my muse, my mistress and my wife
we may never be together
but that’s not to say we weren’t meant for each other
we are challenging to say the least
but in the midst of all our chaos, you bring me peace
when I have all my riches, it’s with you I want to feast
so save room in your heart for me, would you please

we’re too different, we wouldn’t be compatible
I’ve heard every possible reason out of you
we go together like cigars and pixie sticks
something doesn’t stir you well, we don’t mix
we’re strangers doing the strangest things
I recklessly let you in, chaos is what we bring

We’ve earned our rankings among the greatest
Hall of fame contenders in a game we haven’t played yet
but the fans keep cheering as we continue to slay it
we know what we are, so there’s no reason to say it
even when the dust settles, things aren’t as clear as they should be
despite our differences, the question is where and what would we be
if things were easy, but the epitome of us is the lack of simplicity
we are filled with frivolity, but your value is something I take seriously
chemistry is at our core, even when we try to forget
take it back to when we first met
first impressions carry little weight now
though I couldn’t let go of mine if I even knew how
you were exotic, intoxicating, almost erotic
and I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time
we could be a catalyst for some of the best times
if we could for a moment be out of our minds

we go back and forth so much, we’re rowing in the Olympics
I have so many secrets, but you still know all my business
you know way more about me than I know about you
is that how it’s supposed to be, cause I’m used to being the mystery
no one has been less readable, but we’re filled with predictability
not to say it’s a bad thing, I just know what I’m getting when I let you in
our bond is a brand and I sell it with pride
we go through some things, but I don’t hide
some days the timing is wrong and the line to get through to you is long
and I start thinking what type of shit my heart’s on to be so strong
biased towards you, so many free passes even when you’re wrong
we go days without talking to prove a point we can do without each other
but even if we could, why would we begin to bother
you’ve always been dangerous for my security
but nothing about you worries me
It’s all about the life I don’t have and the one I want
you can give me the life I want to flaunt

Tale of Two Cities

we had to learn who we are so that we could make it this far
we had to fail over and over again
just so that we could survive as friends
we had to make mistakes and raise the stakes
just so we could separate what’s real from what’s fake
I was always concerned more about impressing than undressing you
you matter more than anything else in this world
because without you I feel without a world
and even with millions of people surrounding me
your absence always left me feeling empty
but you always have a party, have a crew
I never knew how to keep up the way you do
you alone, piece and hold me together
I pray that you continue to do that forever

whenever I sit and think about you
I become blind to anything less beautiful
and everything and everyone disappears
and it’s always you and me my dear
alone and together, a tale of two cities

but am I really enough satisfy your soul
you are forever young as I grow old
your company is not my company to keep
I’m not from the same set, so I can’t be the perfect piece
I’m only reminded of a time in your life where I didn’t exist
when you disappear from me on sporadic weekend trips
I want to have you all to myself
and you share a piece of you with everyone else
sometimes I feel lost in your priorities, even though I’m still one
but then I know that’s selfish of me, I’m headstrong
no matter how much we have going on, nothing is secure
there’s no weight even on things we planned before
something else comes up and you’re ready to ride
and I feel like scraps tossed to the side
but we’ve always been a tale of two cities
two very different personalities
what offends me doesn’t offend you
and there’s different meaning in the same things we pursue
yet we are so perfect, me and you
and we’re going to do what we do
we never rest knowing the other is hurt
and we always figure it out and make things work

Loyal to Myself

For so long I thought i had the answers for myself
I don’t
Use to convince myself I would be fine without help
I won’t
think the more I let get close, I would overdose on friendship
so if anyone posed a threat of exposing me, it ended
I kept myself well defended, always pretending
what I got was enough because I committed so little
but hated the feeling of playing second fiddle
make myself significant to those I wanted to mean something to
but didn’t know what I already meant, and to who
I heard everyone’s value and wanted to hear mine too
my worth was never verbally expressed
and I’m not one to settle for second best
so when the time came and it was put to the test
so common was I associated with fail
and I learned when it was time to bail

Dynamics change with every given situation
and I think about which archetype I’m replacing
or who I will eventually be replaced with
cause let’s face it, disaster strikes when I’m involved
I’m the riddle that has no means of being solved
since I never know when I have enough
and sometimes I give, take, say too much
or I sometimes say all the right things
knowing how to get under one’s skin
not knowing when to stop or where to begin
sometimes is hard to understand my position
or how you end up in the one I put you in

I’m lost just looking for a home
somewhere I won’t be alone
I’ll be trouble if you take me in
but that’s where life really begins
I’ll challenge you to do better
while remaining Ioyal to myself forever

I don’t want to compete for what I already have
or for the things I should of had
never has anything ever really been mine
not my life, my girl, my time
so I wander as I wonder where I belong
still unclaimed after so long
insecurely penciling the words to this song
reassurance is always in short supply
with an abundance of reasons to cry
making life harder than it needs to be
just to say life wasn’t easy for me
to relate to the suffering I can’t get through
to live the dreams I once never knew

We Were Champions

I’ve chased you for years, followed you into battle
never left your side, I was your shadow
I know you never asked, I never had to
but I gave you the benefit of the doubt
and promised you, you wouldn’t be without
that one to count on, the loyalty you sought for so long
but treating you like royalty is where I went wrong
you made my words your own, my place your home
but all this time, your vibrant colors weren’t shown
shielded by your armor that keeps me out
fooled by your lies that I was one you couldn’t do without
but whenever I needed you, I had to do without
that support once assumed to be mutual, wasn’t this time
twist my words that were yours that were once mine

we were champions, we would win
every battle we’d begin and end together
two survivors burnt by the fire
now we wage war against each other
no victory in fighting my brother

I’m fuming and fueled by much frustration
your assistance always came with such hesitation
like you couldn’t make the decisions for yourself
always waiting for the approval of someone else
In life or death, I’d once give my last breath
but now all that has been laid to rest
I can’t count on someone without a mind
it begins to add up, the missing vertebrae from your spine
we were a force, and of course I took the lower road
so that you could shine all high and mighty
but remember the mighty fall
and on this day you’ll remember my name being called
no mercy, no patience
I’m just a result of what you once created
the sum of its parts after you betrayed it

We were made to be equals
you made me out to be your sequel
years in the making, with my life for the taking
a sacrifice to be made in order to survive
cause you could never do any wrong
so it was my name you dragged on
instead of owning up to your issues
treated me like a piece of tissue
but you had it, had me all wrong
you let me grow to become too strong
and I don’t back down, I will fight
you try to rule with a bark, but I bite
you react without seeing the totality
I’m focused, I see your legacy’s mortality

What You Were Before Pt. 2 (Before We Were Anything)

I want my friend, but we are always involved
why won’t your passion for me dissolve
I try to show you my dark side, my flaws
but you just ignore and brush them off
you’ve created this illusion
and our relationship gets confusing
this back and forth, this tug of war
between your mind and your heart
is somehow playing with my heart
I know I don’t help the situation
cause maybe I’m afraid to face it
so I make it easy for you to chase it
but this thing you think we have
it’s not what you want so bad

You aren’t entitled, but embattled
I don’t want to have to
don’t want to break your heart
I’ll love you forever, my friend
but before we were anything
we always had our end

It hurts me as much as it hurts you
knowing I can’t make your dreams true
I know I don’t make it easy
but you’ll continue to blame me
and maybe one day hate me
but maybe it is for the best
if it lets you put thoughts of us to rest
we both play the same games
but with me you say it’s not the same
it’s a shame, took this long to admit it to ourselves
we are both right for someone else

Think seeing less of me will make it easy
but I am not easy to forget, hard to regret
what we once were was nothing more
than a performance we chose to endure
we both chose to entertain
I just happened to be better at this game
I took what you created and did nothing but exaggerate it
I’m sorry for your heart ache, your heart break
but this is not an apology for your conscience mistakes
I admit at times, we were both wrong
but it’s time you stopped listening to this siren’s song

What you Were Before

we are ripe and in season
and how many reasons do I have to give?
for you to forgive
my mistakes fuels your hate
I give, you take, but how much can you take?
don’t ask how much I gave
just know you can’t relate
and yet I’m so relate-able
you go from hating me to hating you
once you know what I’ve been through
and what’s to come, and what I’ve undone
the sacrifices made for what was promised
the lifestyle that was so dishonest

you fit me like a glove
you fill me with love
but you burn me like a match
still you are my perfect match
to be nothing more
than what you were before

you tear walls down and invade my mind
you consciousness occupies my time
each minute you are awake
is another second I take
to adore and explore you
our current state of friendship is so toxic
I lie about wanting to and trying to stop it
so we will continue the cycle til the end
I promise to be your unreliable friend
cause I can’t do what’s best for us
I can never give you up

I wipe your eyes, I keep you calm
but we both know it’s all wrong
your comfort in the storm belongs to someone else
I need to admit this to myself
but I won’t be convinced of a thing
until I see you wearing that ring
my heart’s sharpshooter, you depart sooner to avoid the hassle
but I’m not a problem easily resolved through travel
one day I will accept the fact I can’t have you
but I’ll continue to let you entertain me, I’m glad to
so we’ll stubbornly do this back and forth thing
damn well knowing, this is a battle no one wins
we were good friends from the beginning
to think it would be different, who are we kidding
you will always be what you’ve been before
the most special person I know, nothing more

Make a Scene

there’s no need to be discrete

cause once we meet

there’s no going back

there is no forgetting

every second, every minute

my eyes, you’re in it

my sights are set

my target is locked

 

so give me everything thing you got

test the waters, take a shot

let’s jump, let’s scream

let us make a scene

 

We endure and perform

let’s work up a perfect storm

we mix and we tangle

tell me how much you can handle

cause we push the limits

no rules, we’re just in it

to fulfill a dream

to make a scene

 

wild is always the best

let me undress you my lioness

we can relieve some of the stress

being the animals we are

we can excite and delight each other

satisfy my appetite for a lover

let’s dream then live out a party

where we just don’t care

we do whatever we dare

%d bloggers like this: