Tag Archives: friendship

She Can’t Be Saved

You dated her so you could feel like her savior

she’s down and out for the count

but you pick her back up, dust her off and tell her enough

she don’t have to deal with that life anymore

cause you’ll make it better than it was before

you can have all her needs met

all her problems, she could just forget

cause you’re here, you care, catching all her tears

thinking you can cure all her fears

healing her insecurities with your ego stroking therapy

cause you are the remedy when life is her enemy

She’s so filled with hate, she can’t be saved
insecurities, created toxic impurities
her path is paved, she can’t be saved
there’s no amount of excuses for her behavior
she needs self love, and that can’t wait for later

The appeal is real but what about the love you feel

you fell for broken pieces and struggle to grasp the reasons

your relationship goes through changes like the seasons

the ups and downs are a nonstop roller coaster

but you believe all of this only brings you closer

there’s a passion you feel from an over abundance of empathy

but the more she breaks down, the more you feel empty

how could your cure fail, your presence not be enough

and now you deal with constant rebuffs

but it only makes you fight harder than before

cause if it isn’t working the key must be to love more

how can you be whole together when she had a hole to begin with

you tried to save her from herself without the foundations of friendship

and now look how it is all ending
you’ve dug your grave and sorrow is your bedding

the best of intentions with the most selfish of deeds

you gave her what she wanted, but never what she needs

she took you and your efforts for granted

there are so many inconsistencies, you don’t understand it

but reality is you were never meant to save her

she needed saving, buy she didn’t need you to be a savior

take a step back and see that every cry was a cry for love
not your love but for self love
you fell for potential that goes untapped and held back
suppressed by a cruelty that resides deep within her soul
she’s just not the one whom you are meant to grow old
she is a tyrant in her own right, maybe she’ll be saved
but it shouldn’t be by you, and not today
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What You Get

she don’t like to be told what to do

but she don’t like to be single

she is everybody’s, she’s an individual

seeking validation in her decisions

but doesn’t care for the indecision

she pokes and prods, she’s relentless, it doesn’t stop

she pulls no punches, brings you down further even when she’s on top

insecure about who she is and who she thinks you are

her defenses are low, but still she starts the war

mind if she ever feels slighted, her mind is already divided

she will create lies, just one trick on her 8-sided die

manic-depressive, no, just unhealthily obsessive

imagining scenarios to create drama, she feeds on guilt

even if you didn’t do a thing, she wants you to sing

confess to her, your wrong doing, your ills, your disgusting ways

and don’t you dare not know what to say

truth is you don’t know a thing about love
truth hurts but apparently you haven’t been hurt enough
will you ever learn? how will you earn your own respect
because when you don’t, she is what you get
hope you’re not too late to save yourself
do yourself a favor and love anyone else

you’ve created a monster and slept with the beast

you enabled her war, served yourself at her feast

a victim is what you made yourself

by ignoring your own beliefs and the advice of everyone else

you neglect the god you pray to because of the tears she uses to play you

sleeping with the devil because she says stay and lays with you

her love is a light switch and you are kept in darkness

so you can’t see what should be so obvious

there’s a starkness in highs and lows on the day to day

you are not her future, just a placeholder on layaway

but you convince yourself that 5th time is the charm

after shes dismembered you, you still think she means no harm

your naivety is such a pity, but pity no more for a man who fuels his own demise

the truth is everywhere, but you aren’t man enough to look it in the eyes

tear yourself down for what you think is love, she doesn’t love you

your brain cries because your heart is such a fool

she’s abusive, she’s callous
you are a servant in her palace
and all you can do is make excuses

she makes you feel crazy and useless

the day you questioned your sanity should of been your check up on reality

you want simple and she is all about vanity

your construct of her qualities lack originality

her excuses for her behavior, filled with banality

she is not your queen, but your authoritarian ruler

you will never be who you want to be under her regime

if only you learn your value before it’s too late

no one can save you if you don’t want to be saved

don’t be a fool, blinded by a cruel ambition

that will only lead to a wicked resolution

you’re in a position to shape your life for the better

but life can promise you ruin, if you let her

True Melody

The curiosity that dances in my mind
makes me want to give you more time
unlocking more pieces of the puzzle
each discovery only brings more trouble
you say you know my life, how could you?
but If I let you in, would you?
get to know me a little bit better
can we get to know each other together?
the heart yearns for someone else
but the mind seems infatuated
everything about you is more than I anticipated
we lock eyes so much, it feels intentional
what do you do? what do I do?
when all that is wrong is right
when all that is true, is everything we don’t do

Tell me, what is your true Melody
confess to me, tell me gently
you have no attachment to this world
so what keeps you grounded
tell me the truths I haven’t found yet

we were liars, just to excuse the days
days where our eyes could never look away
body language couldn’t be more creative
there are so many ways that we never say it
hoping it was a phase and we can forget it
but no amount of pretending prevented any befriending
in the slightest hopes of something more
don’t know the last time a thought about you has been pure
don’t know the last time I wanted it to be
everything we’re missing still remains fiction
this is me wishful thinking without the wishing
if we only saw in us what everyone else sees
it could of been real anytime you wanted it to be

now it feels like I’m losing you to another man
but you were never mine, so never mind
time plays tricks on me all the time
always dreaming of your body underneath mine
I fall behind because I fell in love
but at the wrong time, so what’s the use
you were my muse
but minus the past-tense
cause even now, we have surpassed friends
you are everything I chose without choosing
if I had a choice to show you what you mean to me
we’d already be one for eternity

Crash & Burn

you bark, I tend to growl back
that’s how we always have and continue act
I say go right, you go left
we’re at each other til there’s nothing left
you bring out the best with glimpses of your worst
we are a catalyst to chaos, unscripted, unrehearsed
we mean well but we only bring hell
you rain hell-fire missiles
yet there are days I miss you
but you shouldn’t have the satisfaction of that admission
I chose the words you hear of my own conviction
we clash for an abundance of reasons
yet our chemistry still seems to defy seasons
I know that I make things hard enough, I’m hard to love
but your heart is equally difficult, and hard to touch

We clash, we crash and we burn
we put out the fire and rebuild
we learn that when things take a turn
we will
fight against, fight with, fight for each other
until the day we quit one another

 
The back and forth seems as routine as work
the constant jabs, the blows that never hurt
what do you have to gain from me?
think you’re in control of the games you play with me
with everything to lose, you’re going to lose
I choose to let you win, to let you in
I fuel the fire you use against me
you have always been more a necessary rival than enemy
the challenges we face, we create
pushing buttons just for the sake of provocation
fully ready to embrace any retaliation

explaining our dynamic to anyone else
is like you trying to explain yourself
it just doesn’t make any sense
but its charming to hear your defense
we can’t even explain us to ourselves
how have we come so far? but where are we really?
I fight for you as you wage war against me
we call a truce, but those words end up empty
we’ve come a long way and so much further to go
there’s so much left unanswered, but it’s better not to know
you never have to ask how I feel, you know the deal
whether its love or hate, you know its real

Mutually Exclusive

your past escapes me
I can’t even pretend to know
your soliloquy creates a mystery
that you will forever be shrouded in
because I’m not sure you’ll ever let me in
you taunt and tease my curiosity
I fell for our memories and what we could be
but not the reality of what we would be
friends and still perfect strangers
still we display a bond so undeniable
pain and laughter all too reliable
a comfort tangled and entwined
when and where do we draw the line

you know too much about me
I regurgitated my history without hesitation
no rhyme or reason, no justification
no fabrications, no protecting myself with lies
the honesty was pure when I first met your eyes
I’m usually the mystery to everyone else
but I revealed the real me to yourself
you know a different me than everyone else
my flaws are apparent, and you take them
you take me so casually, I thought it was just me
but everyone has something to say about our chemistry
potential energy that will never become kinetic
we are what we are and I won’t forget it
whatever you invest in me, I’ll protect it

you’re the most interesting person I don’t know
we’re so close, but I just don’t know
if this is a mutually exclusive feeling
I don’t what kind of hands we’ve been dealing
but the more I get to know you
the less I know what to do

a naturally occurring phenomenon, nature introduced us
how can having what we have not be and be enough
the most trivial of things brings me closer to you
a mind this challenging, I must pursue
I fight to know more, there’s too much left to explore
but you know all you need, that I’m not what you need
but I’m not so sure that your heart is up to speed
elephant in the room, I remember every last detail
every quip, those are the memories I protect
the truth is in the sarcasm we try to redirect

Clarity

I try to control my mind
but sometimes the mind wonders
wonders where would we be
how would we do things differently
how would you look at me
if we shared the same home
if we were both alone

wouldn’t that be a turn of events
if there were less of a mystery to present
because I knew you so well
if I were there to catch you when you fell
what would we be in our moment of clarity
how different would life by if you were with me

what do you see in me when you stare?
is it emptiness, or is something there?
does my sensitivity give a false sense of fragility?
or do you embrace the thought of me?
who led who down this path?
the thought seems to linger
out of many, i’m still a beginner
of all the ones from the past
will I be the first to last?

misled by a strong sense of ambition
or do you also feel that something is missing
when we are apart, when it’s after dark
something constantly fuels my desire
and something about you sets off a spark
my heart’s in flames if ever you say my name
but does it get spoken from your tongue
what if I’m not the one for you?
what am I suppose to do if that is true?
been so full of myself and what I want to be
never considered what if you don’t want me

Lion’s Den

It hurts when someone thinks the worst of you
like they have no recollection of knowing you
your character, your behavior over the years
carries no weight in the eye of your peers
misinterpreted despite it seeming out of character
but there’s no benefit of the doubt, just an ex-factor
a simple miscommunication and you are the worst
like every damn thing in life is suppose to be rehearsed
no mistakes, just the double standard of perfection
everything I do is wrong, even when its in the right direction
paint me as a monster with your alternative facts
show me your real age in the way you act
you blew up no questions asked, over nothing
yet I’m the fucking screw up, ain’t that something

 

too much time spent in the lion’s den
you start to lose sight of foe from friend
where does the trust begin, where does it end
the only way out of the lion’s mouth
is to choose someone you can do without

apparently we’re not equally responsible for our actions
no accountability in the absurdity in your overreactions
you accuse me of libel and slander, taking everything out of context
to justify and stake your claim in the biggest asshole contest
I have to make peace in a war I didn’t start
I have to be real but you get to play a part
I admit I slip, I own up to my mistakes
but I seem to be the only one making them
at all times, its me apologizing and yet I’m the bad friend
I’m described as a cold soul because I supposedly don’t care
but when you need someone I’m the first one there
always available if you ever needed me to be
but for whatever reasons, you still don’t believe in me

I overestimated how well you knew me
and underestimated how well I knew you
people like you make me a recluse
but I refuse to stand here creating excuses
all we have in common is strife
I recuse myself from your personal life
I’m responsible for every decision I make
every word I say, every action I take
and it was my mistake
but I’m not mad, being so would mean that I care
that was once the case, but I’m no longer there
I’m checking out, there’s nothing good about the route we’re on
you’ve push me off the cliff and now I’m so far gone

Too Good for You

we talk a little less than we used to
but maybe that’s because we need to
my heart speeds up when I see you
but we both know that shouldn’t be true
my breath is shallow, but sharp like a knife
why do you make me feel so alive?
is it because we had so many memories together
before you promised someone else your forever
we were always something and never knew it
time passed us by and we never pursued it

I was the jester and you played me like a fool
I was too good to you, too good for you
you were too right for me, too polite to see
that we can, will, and should never be

I get jealous when you laugh at him
we come in first place but it doesn’t mean I win
it’s funny how things work the way they do
how it hurts like this is all new
like I didn’t know you gave someone else your time
sharing intimate memories I thought were solely mine
you miss me only when it’s convenient for you
only when you can’t get it from him, you let me in
I thought we were close, but that was only my definition
obviously you had your own interpretation
I spent so much time waiting and I’m not sure why
hoping you were brave enough to try
to begin to admit that you would never quit me
but history shows you would leave me empty

I know we’re scared to be honest
so we lie to each other about ourselves
deny each other for somebody else
to avoid the complication of our situation
absent is the reality that we should be facing
cause all we do is find replacements
and ignore the slightest of hesitations
accepting things with her, I feel complacent
the doubt that creeps in when you’re with him
so we end when and where the lies begin
and that’s just the way it’s going to be
until you admit to yourself that there’s more to me

The Best Part of Me

she is the best part of me
my best friend, on bad days my worst enemy
that I will always love and appreciate
if we can’t agree, we negotiate
cause we shouldn’t go to bed angry
and if we do, I go to sleep mad at me
we come apart just to come back together
entangled in love, feeling closer than ever
the moments pass, but she is forever
the fire fades, the storm passes, but our love, never

we believe differently, but as long as she believes in me
we keep going,
reaping benefits from the seeds we’re sowing
we go from suppressed to expressive
but a resolution is never neglected
we conclude that we both will be respected
and we piece together two versions of the same story
and for having each other, we give Him the glory
we climb and we fall, then we tear down those walls
there’s no pressure, but a desire to be better
for the one I promise to love forever
cause she’s my queen and we reign supreme together

we learn and grow as a result of one another
consequence of our actions, memories everlasting
satisfaction comes in a variety of forms
and now my once cold thoughts are warm
perspective changes loving someone else
it will always be her before myself
her happiness and health
our love, the infinite supply of wealth
and I’ll be soaking it all up
because there is no such thing as too much

She Will

She will never love me, I’m not her type
she wants someone who will treat her right
not go above and beyond day and night
a man who will never put up a fight
someone taller, someone a little older
with love that never changes, always sober
but mine constantly grows, it’s never over
and I know she knows that I’m here
but life moves fast, she doesn’t even stop and stare
I’m a constant in time, I am always present
but I’m starting to sense a little resentment
I like to imagine we have a connection
but I’m leading myself in the wrong direction

She will take me for granted
for her, it becomes a habit
she will say what she says
but it doesn’t have to mean a thing
she will continue playing on broken strings

Our friendship has always left scars
why doesn’t she check her heart
to remind herself that we’ve come so far
love has been there from the start
a bond that have always had character
we shaped it artfully like a caricature
both playful and deceptive to the outside looking in
where we start is where we end, and she and I end where we begin
cause so many times we act as one
but after today, we’re done
just like that, there is no turning back
everything we worked for just walked out the door
but it should of never came as a surprise
I saw the death of us the last time I looked in her eyes

Why did weeks go by with no love between us?
I asked myself if I was the only one who can see us
I did all I could to please her, make sure her needs were met
and in return I got apologies and excuses
the perfect recipe to make anyone feel useless
but anyone else would of got more effort
and there is no insecurity in my worth
just certainty in how much it hurts
knowing the truth is that things will never change
after talks and promises, years later, still the same
I’d be a fool not to learn from the patterns of our past
the last lie I let her tell me is that this will pass
I’ve heard it too many times before
and now it’s time I say no more

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