Tag Archives: life

Jungle Gym

the world is my playground, I toy with it
give me power and I’ll eat it, cause I’m power hungry
I’m the best at what I do
I know you think you something with your girl, acting brand new
without any effort, I’m taking better care of her than you
life becomes effortless when you are your best
no hesitation proving that to the rest
I set goals and attack them with elite precision
every decision I make is the best decision
so many people out there always testing me
but they can’t get a taste of my recipe
they can’t comprehend my alchemy
and I know what is best for me
I’m going to do what’s best for me
any imitators can settle being less than me

I pray every way I go is the right way
obstacles are just child’s play
til my dying day, I’m always gonna find a way
I’m the king, and all I know is how to win
this world is my play thing, my jungle gym

I don’t play games, I just take names
so I can hand out consolation prizes
no surprises, I always perform at the highest
it’s the only thing I know how to do
and if I lose, it’s because I choose to
I don’t care who you are, I won’t lose to you
I’m always on another level that can’t even be seen
I’m sorry, you even lose to me in your dream
and I know that’s not fair, but should I care?
no competition since you can’t win without my permission
your life goals I accomplish in my sleep
but outside of competition I’m humble and meek
carefully chosen are the words I speak
so every promise, claim, bet, is absolutely deliberate

I slow down so that life has a chance to catch up
it taps out when I’ve given it enough
non-confrontational but I still don’t hide
I don’t back down, I don’t bide
my footsteps are too big for you to walk in
so don’t waste my time with all that gully talk
cause you have no idea of the storm you taunt tonight
I’m a new level of dominance that would haunt you for life
hang it up now and I promise to be polite
I have a reputation for being a man of my word
so if I say I already won, its the greatest truth you’ve heard
no hesitation, life is lived with an ounce of desperation
everything I do is consequential
carefully thought through, success is sequential
I know my strengths and weaknesses
can’t keep up, I can imagine how bleak this is
if it’s not for me, then I simply don’t do it
I don’t compromise, but you make sure the shoe fits
that’s the difference between me and you
the difference between win and lose

Never Satisfied

I rise early with a mind full of thoughts
contemplating every decision I’ve ever made
every dollar spent, every penny saved
I should be rested, but I’m so tired
so restless from the chaos my mind conspires
tormented because I’ll never be satisfied
yet unimpressed by the thought of a perfect life
I feel the knife piercing the back of my head
when I lay down, I feel the weight of lead
the weight of the world on my shoulders
I close my eyes embracing the thought of it being over
there is so much to desire, fantasies so sublime
I want it all, all at once, or just over time
I can never make up my damn mind

I can’t be sure if she’ll ever be mine
I can’t be sure if I’ll have enough time
to live the life I want to live
cause I’ll never be satisfied knowing there’s more
I’m never satisfied just being alive

I apply logic to every decision I make
a rational approach to every action I take
not a man to live spur of the moment
there’s always a plan, premeditated, and I own it
but if spontaneity weighs on me
I know how to let go and be free
but that’s just not me on a daily basis
time creates opportunity, and I won’t waste it
there’s is always something on my mind
always seeking answers with the mentality seek and you shall find
I’m a know it all that still doesn’t know enough
the life of the party, but not entertaining enough
but nothing is enough, even when I have too much

I’m on a quest for more, my mind is never satisfied
a taste and hunger for more, insatiable appetite
I think I know what I want, but I’m not really sure
cause when I have it, I still want something more
and there is always something about the greener grass
I love everything that I have, but I also love her ass
I don’t want to own, yet I’m saving for a home
I want no debt, yet I date the queen of student loans
I make sense to myself, but to no one else
I’m selfish with everyone, but myself
I know what I want, but then I don’t
I know what I want, but I’m not really sure
I won’t be indecisive anymore
or will I?
I can’t be sure

Glass Elevator

You can see my rise and my fall
my affairs, a window that bares it all
my ascend and decline
you see what could be yours and try to take mine
just because my life is on full display
I see beyond the stars, no telescope
people have me under a microscope
waiting for the moment I choke
even being humble and accepting my flaws
they still want to strip me down of it all
everything I work for, everything I hurt for
I give it all and they still want more

there are those that wish me success
want to see me at my best
and then there are the rest
the ones that you least likely expect
friendships become more than friendly rivalries
they drown in the river of jealousy
and proclaim themselves my enemy
my greatest accomplishment are the bonds I’m able to form
the people I can count on to keep my interpretation of this world warm
I’ve been climbing from darkness since I was born
and the closer I get to finding my way out
the inconsistencies often fill me with doubt
sometimes it feels better to hide
being seen, not being seen
what do you do when neither feels right?

I don’t fear judgement, but I know it’s there
I feel the pressure, I feel their stares
I live in a glass elevator with mirrors reflecting back
but no one sees them-self, they just see the cracks

I’m an open book still judged by its cover
an innate ability to relate to another
I’ve built myself from the ground up as rubble
but I’m told I could never understand
I would never feel the pain of another man
because I don’t have qualifying struggles
I see a part of me in every friend, every enemy
I see their reflection, I feel their pain
I give a damn, even if I don’t know their name
but how many casting stones can say the same

The One

I’m not a tyrant, I’m just disciplined
when something needs to be done, I’m the one
if I need to be somewhere, I’ll be there
on time and in my right mind
I’m a champion of self control
and a supporter of common sense
no indecision, no on the fence
I know what I want, but I have restraint
while others stupidity can’t be contained
my head remains subjectively sane
responsibility is in my nature
my morals and values don’t waiver

Everyone’s chasing a dream life
I’m staking the real thing
when everyone’s going for the win
I know that I’ve already won
I know that I’m the one…
the one I have to answer to
the one I pander to
the one I know I have to be
but not for anyone but me

If I’m moving forward, it’s the right direction
two steps back, decisive re-evaluation
deliberate hesitation to analyze the situation
if something is to be gained, it’s mine for the taking
I’ve made numerous mistakes, if I’m not mistaken
my heart beats, but it feels stone cold
I give and take what I need to reach my goal
I’m not a failure even if I don’t succeed
life lets me down, but still gives me what I need
I live beyond a day at a time
a see a future that I want to be mine
not a sense of entitlement, but a sense of purpose
hearing the term worthless could not be worth any less
because idiots can always compound words
but if I don’t listen, they never have to be heard

I have no bucket list, I will be content with the life I live
whether I see the world or just the universe
I know I did what I wanted, I lived
and I won’t do it all, but life could be worse
I’m a champion for not caving to the pressure
I tell myself “don’t be someone else for someone else
unless for you, that person brings out your best self”
I’m my own definition of a self improvement project
I can always learn more, do more, but what for?
I’m not an advocate for perfection, but resurrection
reinvention within the realm of my own imagination
I can and will live my life the way I intend it
even if I chose to amend it
I live for my own reasons, and will never resent it

No Win, Just Lose

you bring the drugs you sell into our home
I should let you be on your own
what if something happens when our daughter’s home
and the people you deal with didn’t like the hand they were dealt
pay you a visit at our home to show you how they really felt
would it really be worth all the profit you made
if you lose the people you were meant to save
you bring an inevitable danger into our home
and pretend that it affects you and you alone
family is suppose to look out for each other’s best interest
but your interest is in maintaining your business

 

I’m suppose to be ok with the company you keep
because to you, they are family, so to speak
and I should want to be guilty by association
without any consideration, there is no negotiation
it’s either I’m in or I’m not
but no matter what it brings, you won’t stop
you already suffered the consequence of their recklessness
and you still think whatever happens is for the best
they taught you how to abuse and use people
and think its ok because it’s not them but you who chose to
sure you pulled the trigger, but who taught you how to load the gun
then handed it to you and showed you where to point it
gave you permission to treat people like shit, my point is

 

In this business there is no win, just lose
watch loyalty to the family you choose
they got your back for as long as they claim you
but they’ll put you down if they can’t tame you

 

How much of your past is influenced by their presence
the evolution of your morals shaped by their lessons
a complete disregard of all the scars left on others
but none of it matters, because these are your brothers
the impact they have on society carries no weight in your eyes
because you will never see the tears their victims’ mothers cries
you won’t witness the blood in the streets where bodies lie
but you’re loyal to a fault, look the other way to avoid cutting ties
knowingly ignorant, pretending to be oblivious
when is enough, enough
you got a double standard for fam with no standards
you wan’t the world to be a better place
but it won’t until you accept the reality you face

The Best Part of Me

she is the best part of me
my best friend, on bad days my worst enemy
that I will always love and appreciate
if we can’t agree, we negotiate
cause we shouldn’t go to bed angry
and if we do, I go to sleep mad at me
we come apart just to come back together
entangled in love, feeling closer than ever
the moments pass, but she is forever
the fire fades, the storm passes, but our love, never

we believe differently, but as long as she believes in me
we keep going,
reaping benefits from the seeds we’re sowing
we go from suppressed to expressive
but a resolution is never neglected
we conclude that we both will be respected
and we piece together two versions of the same story
and for having each other, we give Him the glory
we climb and we fall, then we tear down those walls
there’s no pressure, but a desire to be better
for the one I promise to love forever
cause she’s my queen and we reign supreme together

we learn and grow as a result of one another
consequence of our actions, memories everlasting
satisfaction comes in a variety of forms
and now my once cold thoughts are warm
perspective changes loving someone else
it will always be her before myself
her happiness and health
our love, the infinite supply of wealth
and I’ll be soaking it all up
because there is no such thing as too much

Second Thoughts

Are you happy in your current situation?
are the smiles real or are you faking?
are you going places or are you complacent?
settling because you already made it this far
you share the same bed, 2 kids, a car
no reason to give it all up and start over
not when nothing else is secured
but how can you be sure this is it?
is this where you begin or where you quit?

think twice before you take that dive
a second thought before you become his wife
he says your not a good person
you tell yourself this won’t worsen
does anything about this moment feel right
or are you hoping it all changes overnight

are you just comfortable because this is easy?
don’t have to worry about the unexpected
you know exactly what you’re getting
are you forgetting all the things you don’t want?
all those times you wished things were different
even if it were the same situations with someone different
you would be more motivated to try to make it work
there’s a difference in that and then just letting it hurt
let everything fail on it’s own so he can leave on his own
no guilt, no struggle, no consequences for actions not taken
why blame yourself when there is always someone else?

how can this be the wrong person after so many years?
what are you missing, maybe the void when you’re kissing
the signs were always there, is this freedom or is it prison
if it’s so easy to connect and take comfort in someone else
maybe it’s the perfect time to start listening to yourself
your actions are not agreeing with the words you say, its time to take off
you invested so much and you’re waiting to see the pay off
but what if you’re wrong for waiting?
there is value in being patient
but stupidity in over staying as payment
because you feel indebted to someone else
how can you live for another when you wont live for yourself?

Honeymoon Life

we don’t go through phases, we go through lifetimes
love-struck like two people not in their right mind
loving each other more and more each waking day
and each night I lay my head next to yours and pray
that we’ll always have each other, my best friend, my lover
I love being in love with you now and forever
I love you until the sun burns out and the moon fades
give me your heart and know it’s always safe
your light inspires me, it lights the fire
to do my best by you, for my one ultimate desire

you are my best friend, my bachelorhood’s end
with you, I’m ready for a new chapter to begin
It took no time to desire you as my wife
let’s make that a reality, let’s have a honeymoon life
let’s create love with each other for all eternity
do me the honor and marry me

 
there is no doubt, hesitation or second guessing
you are every ounce my greatest blessing
I’m in love with you in so many different ways
and each way grows stronger every single day
each challenge we face results in me loving you more
a tighter bond with the woman I adore
you are the key to my happiness
you are the push I need to be my best
you are my peace when I need to rest
you at your worst, is greater than everything else at its best

I blush each day I get to come home to you
every part of you is just way too beautiful
every curve of your body as beautiful as your complex soul
you only grow warmer as the world becomes more cold
I want you as my queen in every aspect of the life I live
I’m absolute in you being a great mother to our future kids
you instill so much confidence that there is no “on the fence”
I’m so certain that with you is where my life begins
our love will outlive this world as we always stand together
you are my queen, my wife, you are my forever

Queen City

you want to remain part of the city that made you a woman
a place where I was never a part of your life plan
and you want me to understand
why you love it so much
when I just want to feel my love is enough
I can’t put it into words that make any sense
the future is scary but your past is so tense
and I don’t want to revisit the memories
they are your best friends, making them my enemies
you can’t let go of them the way you once let go of me
so how should I feel when I was never good enough
after all the years I wrongly chased your love

I should get over it
I wasn’t always the perfect fit
you left home to sit on the throne
to reign over the Queen City
and now I’m finally starting to see
that had nothing to do with me

that part of you is over and this is where we begin
but that part of you is still holding on to him
because he was there when you wouldn’t let me in
he did what he needed and took care of you
when you wouldn’t let me be there for you
he took you in and made this your queen city
I can’t compete with a place you find so flawless, so pretty
all the connections I imagined now seem so one sided
I just wanted believe it was there and you had to hide it
but my words constantly fell on deaf ears
because I was too bold to acknowledge the reality of my fears
you had moved on living a life without me
I wasn’t living without you, so I resented this city
for taking away the one thing that felt true
for changing and manipulating you
for taking you out of my life, for dimming my light
all the love I fought to earn, you gave it to them without a fight

I feel so much, yet I come of as stoic
I inflict my own pain, and we both know it
the past is the past, time to get over it
I just don’t want to compete in an already decided battle
but that was my choice, I never had to
we made our decisions, that’s just part of living
I can’t let this city be my prison
hold me back, reliving something we never had
It made you the person that you chose to be today
so I shouldn’t really have anything to say
you are here now, I should never lose sight of that
I am a King, ready to take my Queen back

F.E.A.R. (Forget Everything, Act Reckless)

Living careless isn’t the same as living fearless
so let’s not pretend you couldn’t care less
we’ll see how that mentality changes with a family
you are no longer just living for your self
every action you take affects someone else
treating my rationality as a character flaw
like its out of fear and will be my fall
your ignorance apparently makes you invincible
and my knowledge is just an excuse to you
the benefit it’s brought becomes invisible

so let’s smoke, let’s drink, let’s jump off a bridge
cause that’s the only way to live
let’s steal, let’s cheat, let’s die
cause that’s the only way to feel alive
what’s life without a death-wish
forget everything and act reckless

Let’s make mistakes we don’t have to make
because there’s no greater way to test fate
let’s only believe what you want to believe when you want to
ignore religion, science, history, cause consistency has no value
I’m the coward because sometimes I choose to look before I leap
and understand the value of think before you speak
and you’re the brave one that can do no wrong
fearless and careless, makes you the epitome of strong
you’re so brave cause you only live for today
there is no plan for the very next day
just label me as the ball and chain
cause attached to my spine is a brain

I’m a protector, a defender, the lender
but to common sense, no one surrenders
I’m sorry, but no apologies
don’t expect help or pity from me
if you suffer from your own stupidity
I don’t need to hear how it all fell apart
when you ignored me from the start

%d bloggers like this: