Tag Archives: love

Desperate, Love

Just a means to no end
I forget that we’re not just friends
but lovers who like to pretend
we’re strangers in love
and I can’t love you enough
I can’t love you, it’s too much
so much that we do together
all the times I wish were forever
never do I think of you
look what you put me through
the best moments of my life
the cruelty and the strife
I’m lucky to be alive
but without you, how do I survive?

try to fall out of love with me
we can becomes like strangers
forget ever meeting friends and family
you are far too dangerous for my sanity
let’s argue, we’re too good to be true
tell me what we are suppose to do

I’m so desperate for your love
those cold winters, we aren’t cold enough
we’re far too desperate, Love, it will never work
we need a respite from being burdened with hurt

what a waste of potential we are
we’ve come all this way but still remain far
we need to communicate and air it out
the conversations we could do without
but that leaves a mess in the wake of our storm
so let’s be a disaster, as beautiful as ever
let’s fall apart in dramatic fashion, atrophy
a train-wreck, mass casualty
victims of our own circumstances
oh how I love your sinister glances
happenstance all too perfectly crafted to be by chance
everything happens for a reason, life is what we make it
and season after season we continue to fake it

I haven’t known what I wanted since the day that I met you
I can’t forget you and I’m destined to regret the day we met
you know too much about me, some type of stalker
but you got me walking on clouds, Skywalker
life handed us lemons and we made Limoncello
more complexities and possibilities from the first hello
we are such a tease, should of let you go…nowhere
I hold on to you my dear
longer than I should, longer than anyone would
but as bad as we are together, we’re still too good

Advertisements

Shadow in the Light

I love you so
I hate to see you hurt
I don’t want you to go
not without us putting in work
I lay down my shield
and bow at your feet
lower my defenses, I yield
we need to speak
we have so much further to go
so many ways we can still grow
so hear me now, and know

I miss the joy I used to bring you
when the truth was always true
glimpses of your shadow in the light
filled with the darkness from our last fight
now you are a silhouette
and I am a not so distant regret

Our home feels cold and lonely
we used to be warm and holy
I miss your advances
I’ve poisoned your loving glances
I am moved by your sorrow
I want to undo yesterday and repair tomorrow
I’m going to seduce your soul back to my heart
mine is still with you, where its been from the start

I hope to be able to show you my true nature
no more excuses for lackluster behavior
I choose to love you every morning I wake
I will love deliberately with every breath I take
make no mistake, I’m flawed but I’ve had my fall
I get up a learned man, here I stand
and never again will I let go of your hand

Delight

I look in the mirror
but don’t see the monster
that has everyone in terror
just someone with questions
a curiosity never satisfied
a heart broken for the rest of his life
seeking just a bit of understanding
anyone willing to listen with acceptance
he’s just a man
lay down your weapons

demonize every action one man makes
dehumanize every single mistake
destroy everything that ever was before
delight in the aftermath evermore
deconstruct and cancel his life
because you don’t understand why

He’s haunted by things he hasn’t done yet
because of a past no one lets him forget
a future he’ll live to regret
cruel and unkind, the heartbreak of others
alone, forgiveness is looking bleak
he’s committed crimes of which we don’t speak
the monsters are feeling brave
the demons are starting to show face
the spirit is broken, its about to cave
he has no hope, no where is safe

so many voices going through his head
live to love right or just drop dead
failure is not an option
so what does he do with everyone watching
he concede, there’s only accepting defeat
gives up because there is no living it right
no one is ever truly satisfied
he’s longed for peace and seeks to end the sorrow
life is only borrowed, his to be returned tomorrow

Empty Vessel

I’m not ok, enough of the facade I put on
smile for the cameras like we always get along
how long have you been gone?
every day we get it so wrong
so checked out, your love comes and goes
but I don’t falter, because you are who I chose
Alone in our home, we fail to have any goals
yet, we are expected to grow
my commitment is now in question
despite all the years, I’ve yet to make an impression

my words mean nothing to you
until they do
pick and choose the content you want
without the context
so you flaunt
a myriad of omissions
you are the victim
and I am the villain

we want to be what we are
but this is not who we are
you said I’m distant, checked out
help me understand what you are without
one day you love affection
the next, turning to you means I’m facing the wrong direction
I give you the cold shoulder
but you have always been colder

I just don’t know, I don’t know
I don’t know how to impress you
sometimes you are an empty vessel
and I try, I try to protect you
the truth can be devastating
I die with my secrets
because it’s you I’ve been saving

She Says to Me

I see a cage where I used to have my bed
a hostile environment where I lay my head
no longer safe, a war has broken out
the rules of engagement have been violated
and at the end, it will all be annihilated

she’s locked and loaded
but my ammunition has run out
she’s on the attack, despite the fact I’ve folded
we yell, but her heart really shouts and fuss
I still love you, but I hate what you did to us

she says to me…

wasn’t the first time enough
all these years, I’m calling your bluff
I was strong and you broke a good woman
I was so sure that you wouldn’t, that you couldn’t
I’m sure a fool for thinking our love was ever true
you are so vacant, you don’t even have a clue
you checked out the moment I checked in
I was on the losing team expecting us to win

she says to me…

how could I be so blinded by perfect timing
I’m constantly reminded of your lying
I was a fool for your love
thinking I’m the only one when you’ve always been two prong
and enough is enough
so give me one reason I shouldn’t move on…

see I have no words, I know you’re hurt
I have no words, you deserve to be heard
and I hear you, but I know you don’t hear me
I can say sorry and all you hear is an enemy
I’ve pinned us on opposite sides, you resent me
the fight of our lives and we’re not together
it takes so much to build, but very little to undo forever

L is for Liar

If she tries to love me
she hates herself, she feels empty
she tries to forgive me
but still hopes there’s room in hell
she wishes there was good in me
but she does not wish me well
she thinks I’m doing the worst things possible
her mind’s a runaway train, unstoppable

I’ve lived the right life with the wrong wife
she deserves so much better
than a man with the scarlet letter
L is for Liar
light me on fire
let the flames bring forth my confessions
maybe later we can count my blessings

I’ve lost my light
corrupted the love of my life
behind close doors we are a disaster
a rush of the worst things but even faster
I can’t be mad at her wrongs and misgivings
but here I am, isolated in prison
my humanity is at the mercy of her guillotine
she pulls the string, my crimes never to be unseen

bury me where my baby can find her way home
where she can spit on my gravestone
I’ve been nothing but hopeless from the start
I’m nothing more than a ghost to the heart
make me a faint memory if she hasn’t already forgotten I exist
she wanted me gone for so long but finally, I no longer persist
my crimes far outlive our time, we are damaged forever
I’m guilty of all she wants me to be
she deserves a new life without me, it can only be better

Burning the Pages

forgive me, I have lied to you
truth is, no one is more divine than you
but I make mistakes it’s true
I try to protect who I love
when my mind has had enough
thinking you don’t need the burden
of all the reason’s my soul’s hurting
I’m cursing the fact I’ve disappointed you
we were so high and I let you down
your cries haunt me with such a poignant sound

my suffering does not need to be yours
but now it comes off as if I’ve locked all doors
I’ve lost your trust with my guilty omissions
my judgement has been clouded with toxic emissions
I’ve only ever want you to be content and satisfied
but I always felt like a failure, no matter how hard I tried
I talk until I find the words that make sense
but I see you’ve put up an impenetrable fence
I am no longer deserving, no longer worth it
I had it all and then I forfeited

I’m burning all the pages
the story of all ages
I’m baring my soul, no more secrets
here it is, if you choose to keep it
I fear to know what the future holds
the truth isn’t so clear, but it’s being told

you’ve been so good to me
but not perfect, and that I love to see
haunted by a time you used to love me
life used to be so easy
when we lied to ourselves that everything is alright
that we don’t have to cry, we don’t have to fight
no one is right, but I am wrong baby
there is a light, but it won’t save me
I shall disappear like the memories of everyone else
and I don’t blame you one bit for protecting yourself

What Was Said

we used to be good friends
and we had a good thing
I thought you had let me in
I hate that we end, but love is where we begin
impressed by your impressions
your eyes, your smile, your dimples
added complexity to a life too simple
your mind complimented mine
not that you knew how to receive a compliment of mine
but its the little things that made the difference
and differences are what brought about our end
if only you knew, to me, I’m losing a best friend

how do we come back from what was said
I’ve made my peace, you’ve made your bed
we said what was said and sometimes we can take it back
what was said went a little too far
what was said showed us who we really are
we said what was said, and then we were off track
derailed for good, some things we can’t take back

I let so few people in my circle
I know I may of been hard work for you
I thought there was a mutual understanding
that we’re together no matter what happens
we were having such a good run
too many memories to discount all the fun
I became addicted to your personality
we were comfortable, you did away with the formality
we were filled with natural chemistry
signaling everything that was meant to be
I can’t tell where it all went wrong
and I’m still figuring out how to move on
but I know this will be our swan song

I wish things could of been different in the end
I wish you were still my friend
I can tell you that so much will change
now that you are so far out of range
I personally thought you made my life better
but relationships can change like the weather
you switched on me like we had no history
and now I wonder if you’re ever missing me
but I know the bigger picture isn’t about you, it’s about me
I made a decision out of self respect
there was a line and it crossed into disrespect
people used to warn me, beware
but I always thought the love would be there
this is a reality check for the ages
love is conditional, and some friendships are just phases

Borrow your Heart

I wish I knew how to say goodbye
I want to hug and kiss you, tell you that I’ll miss you
but I got issues and conflicts of interest
cause those actions are not in our best interest
I shouldn’t be missing you the way I do
I shouldn’t be embarrassing myself, actin’ a fool
I know what a need to do but don’t know if I want to do it
ask for my confessions and you’ll get them, true shit
pour out my heart and soul, every secret ready to be told
bleeding out, wounds heal but broken hearts don’t
I should let my love for you lay with the rest, but I won’t
move on like the rest of them, but I can’t, you are the best of them

and I can’t let go of yesterday, not today
not anymore, not when I’m at your door
telling you to leave him and let me in
I can’t start tomorrow drowning in sorrow
so may I borrow your heart for my benefit
time is short and I want to be yours til the end of it

There’s nothing ordinary about our affections
in the past hundred years my loyalties have been in your direction
from my crush to my love to my obsession
I go from zealous to jealous when I see you entertain anyone but us
I know that I’m the right man and you’re my right hand
under the influence of the right circumstances
I can tell you feel what I feel from unashamed glances
if we just did for a moment what we wanted to and took chances
we’d surprise no one because they all know it’s true
that I’m not meant to get over but to be under you

I think I’m making progress then I relapse
my walls, my barriers, my guards all collapse
in your absence I like to think I can hold my own
but as long as your here, I can’t leave you alone
everyone knows that I want you
but they also know that I shouldn’t want to
my services are employed elsewhere
and you have your own staff over there
I entertained you and I in a one night stand
but now I see you as part of my life’s plan
don’t know how we got this far, it shouldn’t of been possible
but I know if you want something, there’s no stopping you
so don’t stop and I’ll know exactly what to do

Season of Dreams

I think we both chose the safe option
so I find myself dreaming often
I stuck to the plan that I once abandoned
you started a family, meaning nothing would happen
thought just maybe
we could of been together
but now you had a baby
and you’ll be gone forever
living your new life
someone’s mom, a new wife
such strife
but what a time for you to be alive

we change just like the seasons
a million dreams filled with reasons
that come and go long before we know
life moves so fast, but catching up is slow
in what season do you dream
are those dreams yet to be seen

maybe I was just hoping for a fling
we didn’t really have to be a thing
just wanted to taste your perfection
then let you freely use me, a means to no end
discard me, toss me to the side
I think the attraction had always been physical
we had nothing in common emotional or spiritual
but I wanted to be your god for a night
you could of been the best night of my life
we could of done it…right?
If I were a little more aggressive
a little less love-sick
stuck with someone who doesn’t want me
got me asking how could companionship be so lonely?
In a different place, in a different time
if I only acted out my dreams instead of treating them like crimes
we could of been once in a lifetime

I know I said a fling was all I need huh
but I finally let go of the bullshit I feed on
and saw all that you had to offer
a little too late because now you have your daughter
beautiful like her mother with a supportive husband and father
everything I should of been if only I knew how to be it
but while your life blossomed, mine retreated
you worked for everything you have, I cheated
times changed, our lives changed with the times
but I was unable to keep up with mine
if I feel that something is absent in my life
I won’t pretend it isn’t you that made me feel alive

%d bloggers like this: