Tag Archives: man

Crash & Burn

you bark, I tend to growl back
that’s how we always have and continue act
I say go right, you go left
we’re at each other til there’s nothing left
you bring out the best with glimpses of your worst
we are a catalyst to chaos, unscripted, unrehearsed
we mean well but we only bring hell
you rain hell-fire missiles
yet there are days I miss you
but you shouldn’t have the satisfaction of that admission
I chose the words you hear of my own conviction
we clash for an abundance of reasons
yet our chemistry still seems to defy seasons
I know that I make things hard enough, I’m hard to love
but your heart is equally difficult, and hard to touch

We clash, we crash and we burn
we put out the fire and rebuild
we learn that when things take a turn
we will
fight against, fight with, fight for each other
until the day we quit one another

 
The back and forth seems as routine as work
the constant jabs, the blows that never hurt
what do you have to gain from me?
think you’re in control of the games you play with me
with everything to lose, you’re going to lose
I choose to let you win, to let you in
I fuel the fire you use against me
you have always been more a necessary rival than enemy
the challenges we face, we create
pushing buttons just for the sake of provocation
fully ready to embrace any retaliation

explaining our dynamic to anyone else
is like you trying to explain yourself
it just doesn’t make any sense
but its charming to hear your defense
we can’t even explain us to ourselves
how have we come so far? but where are we really?
I fight for you as you wage war against me
we call a truce, but those words end up empty
we’ve come a long way and so much further to go
there’s so much left unanswered, but it’s better not to know
you never have to ask how I feel, you know the deal
whether its love or hate, you know its real

Advertisements

Kings & Queens

what surpasses our empathy
is our abundance of chemistry
we’re something like a symphony
subtle but vibrant, you, the queen of the tyrants
make peace with the king of violence
there’s no greater sight than this alliance
but no greater charm than your defiance
a character of fiction too real to redact
how quick I am to attack
how quick you are to react
but at all times, we have each other’s back

we splurge on love
we don’t just raise the bar, we sit above
we indulge in the simple things
our potential can’t be unseen
as we live like Kings and Queens

we don’t pick and choose our battles
we just lay it on the line every chance we get
waiting for the days I best you
but I relish in the days I get the best you
just to see you try and assert your authority
you love nothing more than to be at war with me
our back and forth struggle of who reigns on the throne
with a subtle desire to make each other home
together, we are something to fight for
our alliance ends wars, and once more
we do it by kicking in front doors
bold as our love, we are a force
and everyone else can agree to disagree
that we are a beginning of a legacy

How many looks can I steal
to have your treasure in my court
despite our differences, I know your worth
you challenge and then ignore me
it drives me wild, makes me crazy
still I choose you as my lady
the queen to rule my domain
the one to lift up my name
carry us as I will carry you
love me however you choose

Forbidden Fruit Syndrome

you want what you can’t have
a case of you got it bad
what you lust for
is something you never had before
you want to try it out
test drive a new route
something you’ve done without for so long
desires and thoughts so right and so wrong
longing for something not promised
the internal conflict of being honest
admitting it without any shame
they may be worth the cost of the game
just to get a taste of what glimmers in the flame

she looks better each day from your perspective
she makes you feel a little less neglected
a looker, but off limits because someone else took her
he charms you with his words
he listens whenever you want to be heard
the contact, pure and so sure
makes any relationship a little less secure
temptation is calling your number
and you want to answer in the heat of summer
he sees someone else giving you a good time
and stirs, why can’t you be mine
what good is a status without a ring
imagine what life brings if we were a thing
he wants to get lost with thoughts of you on his mind
subconsciously hoping you give each other the time

the promise of the flesh is so fresh
so fresh in the mind, you think from time to time
craving that rush from the pursuit
you want to make a move, you want to do it
he has who you can’t have
she wants him so bad
look but don’t touch
nothing is never enough
take a bite and indulge in the temporal delight
shortsighted, but this plight, you can’t fight it
there’s just something so enticing
about a chemistry that seems so inviting

play your cards right
and you can have tonight
what you always wanted
enduring your pursuit
of the forbidden fruit

Monster, Number One

pray that you never see me angry
I’ve contained the beast for so long
that it continues to grow strong
scratching and clawing, letting all the pain in
trying to get out, but I hold back
and remain calm in the way I react
I do what I do to protect those I love
but once they cross me, they’ve lost me
and there is no mercy, no pity
a paradise now becomes shitty
I was raised to be a man
but born to be a monster
I am the coming of the storm
and the world’s been warned

I push the limits and see how far I get
but anyone who wants to intentionally neglect
I take it as total disrespect
maybe that’s not fair
that I’m telling what no one wants to hear
but I am not here to hide the truth
time to grow up, no longer a youth
you mad, don’t want to hear what I have to say
we can leave it at that, ok
and start to dismantle any memory of me
cause I can’t stand you to remember me
you won’t want to when I’m through
once this beast is unleashed on you

I bring out your best and worse
I’ve been blessed with the curse
the challenge you will never overcome
now introducing…
the monster, number one

I reside in the mind, focusing my time
my energy, pretending to be
while eager to see the end of an era
your era, cause you’ve lost my favor
I am the monster you see in the mirror
slowly break you down from the inside out
cause you hate me and still can’t be without, my presence
I can be relentless and so unfair
but now, I simply don’t care
I’ve broken free from that body containing me
and I’m on a rampage of unfocused rage
I engage in conflict just to fuel that rage
the book of your life, I’m the lost page
you’re in my path and its too late to be saved

Lost Inside My Mind

forget everything I’ve said over the course of this year
I’m a defeated bitter old man my dear
aged too far beyond my years
lost in time, 1,000 years far too gone from any peers
I’ve said some hurtful things
knowing I would never let you in
you would never let me win
and losses are what I cut out of my life
free falling like my parachute was ripped by a knife
I’m too old to remember the existence of my soul
never have I felt so inclined to be cold
I can’t be helped, I don’t think so
save yourself while your blue blood still flows

always hit the ground running
the answers for my sins are coming
I’m haunted by thoughts of being unwanted
outside of my time, lost inside my mind
I’ve been abandoned by that soul of mine

I’m no longer living, and I’m not dead
I’m in a state of limbo instead
because time remembers the words I never said
and the scars from the chaos I once spread
it mocks me knowing I am its prey
as it consumes the fragile morals of man everyday
I have become its accomplice in order to feel accomplished
not proud of any misguided decision
but time is the warden of my prison
I’m forced to survive even after I thought I died
living a life with no one to live for
an insatiable hunger for purpose, something more
I have become a monster, I am a beast
and I will feast upon anything beneath me
knowing that no amount of anything can any longer complete me

I’m sorry for the wrong I’ve done and will do
everything I’ve once loved, I begin to hate too
cause it reminds me of my once imperfect human life
what it really meant to be alive before that inevitable night
I can’t age, I’m trapped with my sadness and rage
I’m locked in a cage with no walls or bars
just one window with hope out of reach, too far
my shadow mimics who I once was
everything I once did, it now does
it’s a crying shame, but if no one can help
what’s the point of crying in vain
afraid to face what drives me insane
how I became the man without a name
looking for answers riddled with questions
spending eternity learning the same lessons

Not Your Everyday Man

Why am I so caught up in a world that doesn’t notice me?

single, no girl, but future desire for a family

quiet and reserved, but still like the attention

disciplined, but never through detention

I work hard for all that I desire

no one knows what fuels my fire

I just keep burning, with no signs of letting up

not easily phased, sometimes I just don’t give a fuck

easily annoyed, but others see me as patient

they just haven’t been in my way yet

cross me and expect all the shit you get

I keep to myself to avoid conflict

cause with me, they don’t want it

 

I’m not a guy’s guy

or a ladies man

I am not a leader

I am not a follower

I’m someone’s son

someone’s brother

I am what I am

not your everyday man

 

people say I don’t talk enough

but I think they talk too much

I take my time, never in a rush

never in a rush

so don’t rush me

I’m not touchy, but don’t touch me

don’t want to invade my personal space

I’ll make sure you reconsider that mistake

got a reputation for always being punctual

so don’t mess with my time

I don’t waste yours, so don’t fuck with mine

I know where I want to be

and I know how to get there

anyone can stand against me

but I’m driven so I don’t care

second guess me?…don’t you dare

 

I’m a passive asshole

sarcastic, but always rational

I make a lot of sense

even when I don’t make sense

I don’t fake, I don’t pretend

I’m blunt, but people can’t handle that

they ask for the truth, but then can’t give it back

I’ve loss my filter over the years

as I became more comfortable around my peers

or maybe I just no longer care what others think

because so much of it never makes sense

contradictions to everything they represent

but at the same time I’m a nice guy

don’t ask why…I’m just what I am

 

If the Old Me Ever Comes Back

growing up, thought being a mystery was cool
no one knew my next move, what I could do
no one knew my past, what I’ve been through
and it made me the coolest kid in school
I always had a dark side
but everyone saw me as the quiet guy
I was perceived as harmless and nice
but was quick to think to harm another life
I was far from perfect
but nobody wanted to see that
I was the perfect example
of how every kid should act

Chorus:

so when I say fuck that
let’s see how they react
when I say fuck you
let’s see what they do
let’s see how they act
if the old me ever comes back

I used to have my darker days
where I prayed before I preyed
on my enemies
but now I pray for those who envy me
I wish well for all who mean well
but that doesn’t mean I won’t go to hell
there’s still work to be done
to repair the damage I’ve done
I use to constantly swear and intimidate
hostile environments, I lived to create
I was always a conflict of interest
thought to be something short of a blessing
I was the right and wrong person to invest in

I set the bar
then I lowered it, to be above it
I’ve come too far
to stress over shit
I learn from the mistakes of others
I don’t have to make them all
so I don’t get high and I remain sober
ignorance will not be my fall
but I take a lot of heat
for being so discrete
for thinking before I act
so how the fuck they want me to act?
reckless and with a complete disregard
of how hard it was to get this far?
I won’t forget where I came from
or who people think I am
but my past is done
and now I am a better man

I Stand Tall

I can walk the same way as the person next to me

but somehow still be received differently

every move I make is scrutinized

I can see the hate in their eyes

but I’m not surprised

I’m surrounded by a bunch of fakes

that are someone different in front of my face

but behind my back, its about my mistakes

the error in my ways

how they can bring me down

take me down a notch

I’ll just let them wait around and watch

cause I’m not going anywhere

that’s not better than here

I will not fall off at this point in life

all my wrongs will be made right

 

If I’m not perfect

I’m not worth it

there’s no point

if I’m not on point

by design, I’m flawed

so I will have my fall

but until then

I stand tall

 

I’m not a people pleaser

I’m not trying to be a leader

cause where I go

no one needs to follow

I live the way I need to

to get to

wherever it is I want to be

at the corner of success and content

is where you’ll find me

I strive for the best

once that’s achieved, then I rest

 

I’m not concerned

about those who yearn

to bring me down

to bring themselves up

I don’t give a fuck

I know better than that

to fall in that trap

of negative thoughts

no disregard for every battle I fought

to get where I am now

I don’t get jealous of or envy

those that seek perfection

I am content with me

continuous progress in the right direction

 

Writing Until My Final Hour

I was born perceived as coy

growing up as the shy boy

quiet, but loud inside of my head

filled with the many words that I never said

kept everything I felt to myself

bottle up emotions and placed them on a shelf

always waiting for the right time

aware that the right time would never be mine

sheltered, but exposed to the elements

living experiences kids shouldn’t find relevant

 

growing up with the tough guy demeanor

stoic and boldness radiating off my exterior

but have always been passive in behavior

hoping it kept me in the Lord’s favor

never one who wanted to ask for help

thought I could do it all by myself

caring for many, but never knew how to express it

center of attention still left me feeling neglected

commanded a great deal of respect from my peers

in my early years, hiding behind my fears

I was so weak coming off as so strong

always right, rejecting the idea of being wrong

 

A part of me always knew what my purpose is

but at times I think, “it can’t be this”

I live with high hopes, but I stay grounded

everyone’s looking for something, but I think I found it

people say I rarely show doubt or insecurity

but I’m more flawed than they let me be

I remain strong for my friends

my strength comes from them

but how much longer can I be around

with an arrogance and wit so profound

heavy is my head that wears this crown

humble me now and take me down

 

no one knows what I have been through

no one acted like they wanted to

so I wrote down all my thoughts on paper

my stories to be told later

my words always gave me power

so I’ll keep writing until my final hour

Mirror Me

I look in your eyes and see how much you resent me
giving that lost gaze that makes me feel empty
a weakened version of the Lord’s reflection
losing my way and begging for direction
I know who I am and that’s the price I pay
been on my own path for so long, to this world I’m a stray
I am not them, the stereotypical demographic
I cannot win, repeating my own bad habits
never seeing my true face, so how can I face myself?
living in disgrace from the lies I tell
to protect those that I feel are less accountable
just to hear the words, “we count on you”
I was a role model, before they really knew me
and now its their hate that fuels me
you see me as a vacant and hollow shell
void of emotion and destined for hell

you don’t need a mirror to see me
there is no choice but for you to be me
trapped being your counterpart for eternity
release and free me, your failures don’t concern me
I don’t need this, it’s you who yearns to be me
I’m not at fault for you feeling so empty
I am the true self, no one else is you
no one sees the real me but you
I’m your shadow, I’m your reflection
I’m what’s missing when you’re lost of direction
I’m voicing your thoughts, when I speak, you listen
not poison to your heart, just a victim in your prison
your un-doing will be the day that I’m done
you know you only exist because I exist
now tell me that ignorance isn’t bliss
the defeat you are never willing to accept
making calculated moves to have no regrets
your obsession with time is an obsession of mine
I am the reason you don’t swear, the reason you don’t care
but do it all for them at the same time
please their heart, but fuck with their mind
you are everything that I want you to be
and I am all those things because you are me

There is always room to improve who I am
but that doesn’t mean I’m anything short of a good man
it’s right to say I am you and you are me
but understand, I am the man that I want to be
I make my decisions well aware of the consequences
I’m don’t bow down to obstacles, I climb the tall fences
Look in my eyes, challenge me to what you choose
if I don’t accept it, it’s not because I’m afraid to lose
Only to the Lord and myself do I ever have something to prove
my life is not something to play with, to me its not a game
I’ve seen too much in myself, haunted by the persistent pain
I am my harshest critic, so before you judge me, take a ticket
wait in line til it’s your time to experience the curse that I’m blessed with
they think of me as a monster, maybe it’s my reflection that’s aggressive
but I’m a beast in my own right, so the pureness in my heart is not to be tested
I am who I am and everything you want me to be, your sins reflected

mirror me and see what I see
walk in my shoes, stand beside me
do as I do, share my pain
face your reflection and never look at me the same

%d bloggers like this: