Tag Archives: relationships

Desperate, Love

Just a means to no end
I forget that we’re not just friends
but lovers who like to pretend
we’re strangers in love
and I can’t love you enough
I can’t love you, it’s too much
so much that we do together
all the times I wish were forever
never do I think of you
look what you put me through
the best moments of my life
the cruelty and the strife
I’m lucky to be alive
but without you, how do I survive?

try to fall out of love with me
we can becomes like strangers
forget ever meeting friends and family
you are far too dangerous for my sanity
let’s argue, we’re too good to be true
tell me what we are suppose to do

I’m so desperate for your love
those cold winters, we aren’t cold enough
we’re far too desperate, Love, it will never work
we need a respite from being burdened with hurt

what a waste of potential we are
we’ve come all this way but still remain far
we need to communicate and air it out
the conversations we could do without
but that leaves a mess in the wake of our storm
so let’s be a disaster, as beautiful as ever
let’s fall apart in dramatic fashion, atrophy
a train-wreck, mass casualty
victims of our own circumstances
oh how I love your sinister glances
happenstance all too perfectly crafted to be by chance
everything happens for a reason, life is what we make it
and season after season we continue to fake it

I haven’t known what I wanted since the day that I met you
I can’t forget you and I’m destined to regret the day we met
you know too much about me, some type of stalker
but you got me walking on clouds, Skywalker
life handed us lemons and we made Limoncello
more complexities and possibilities from the first hello
we are such a tease, should of let you go…nowhere
I hold on to you my dear
longer than I should, longer than anyone would
but as bad as we are together, we’re still too good

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Shadow in the Light

I love you so
I hate to see you hurt
I don’t want you to go
not without us putting in work
I lay down my shield
and bow at your feet
lower my defenses, I yield
we need to speak
we have so much further to go
so many ways we can still grow
so hear me now, and know

I miss the joy I used to bring you
when the truth was always true
glimpses of your shadow in the light
filled with the darkness from our last fight
now you are a silhouette
and I am a not so distant regret

Our home feels cold and lonely
we used to be warm and holy
I miss your advances
I’ve poisoned your loving glances
I am moved by your sorrow
I want to undo yesterday and repair tomorrow
I’m going to seduce your soul back to my heart
mine is still with you, where its been from the start

I hope to be able to show you my true nature
no more excuses for lackluster behavior
I choose to love you every morning I wake
I will love deliberately with every breath I take
make no mistake, I’m flawed but I’ve had my fall
I get up a learned man, here I stand
and never again will I let go of your hand

Delight

I look in the mirror
but don’t see the monster
that has everyone in terror
just someone with questions
a curiosity never satisfied
a heart broken for the rest of his life
seeking just a bit of understanding
anyone willing to listen with acceptance
he’s just a man
lay down your weapons

demonize every action one man makes
dehumanize every single mistake
destroy everything that ever was before
delight in the aftermath evermore
deconstruct and cancel his life
because you don’t understand why

He’s haunted by things he hasn’t done yet
because of a past no one lets him forget
a future he’ll live to regret
cruel and unkind, the heartbreak of others
alone, forgiveness is looking bleak
he’s committed crimes of which we don’t speak
the monsters are feeling brave
the demons are starting to show face
the spirit is broken, its about to cave
he has no hope, no where is safe

so many voices going through his head
live to love right or just drop dead
failure is not an option
so what does he do with everyone watching
he concede, there’s only accepting defeat
gives up because there is no living it right
no one is ever truly satisfied
he’s longed for peace and seeks to end the sorrow
life is only borrowed, his to be returned tomorrow

Empty Vessel

I’m not ok, enough of the facade I put on
smile for the cameras like we always get along
how long have you been gone?
every day we get it so wrong
so checked out, your love comes and goes
but I don’t falter, because you are who I chose
Alone in our home, we fail to have any goals
yet, we are expected to grow
my commitment is now in question
despite all the years, I’ve yet to make an impression

my words mean nothing to you
until they do
pick and choose the content you want
without the context
so you flaunt
a myriad of omissions
you are the victim
and I am the villain

we want to be what we are
but this is not who we are
you said I’m distant, checked out
help me understand what you are without
one day you love affection
the next, turning to you means I’m facing the wrong direction
I give you the cold shoulder
but you have always been colder

I just don’t know, I don’t know
I don’t know how to impress you
sometimes you are an empty vessel
and I try, I try to protect you
the truth can be devastating
I die with my secrets
because it’s you I’ve been saving

She Says to Me

I see a cage where I used to have my bed
a hostile environment where I lay my head
no longer safe, a war has broken out
the rules of engagement have been violated
and at the end, it will all be annihilated

she’s locked and loaded
but my ammunition has run out
she’s on the attack, despite the fact I’ve folded
we yell, but her heart really shouts and fuss
I still love you, but I hate what you did to us

she says to me…

wasn’t the first time enough
all these years, I’m calling your bluff
I was strong and you broke a good woman
I was so sure that you wouldn’t, that you couldn’t
I’m sure a fool for thinking our love was ever true
you are so vacant, you don’t even have a clue
you checked out the moment I checked in
I was on the losing team expecting us to win

she says to me…

how could I be so blinded by perfect timing
I’m constantly reminded of your lying
I was a fool for your love
thinking I’m the only one when you’ve always been two prong
and enough is enough
so give me one reason I shouldn’t move on…

see I have no words, I know you’re hurt
I have no words, you deserve to be heard
and I hear you, but I know you don’t hear me
I can say sorry and all you hear is an enemy
I’ve pinned us on opposite sides, you resent me
the fight of our lives and we’re not together
it takes so much to build, but very little to undo forever

L is for Liar

If she tries to love me
she hates herself, she feels empty
she tries to forgive me
but still hopes there’s room in hell
she wishes there was good in me
but she does not wish me well
she thinks I’m doing the worst things possible
her mind’s a runaway train, unstoppable

I’ve lived the right life with the wrong wife
she deserves so much better
than a man with the scarlet letter
L is for Liar
light me on fire
let the flames bring forth my confessions
maybe later we can count my blessings

I’ve lost my light
corrupted the love of my life
behind close doors we are a disaster
a rush of the worst things but even faster
I can’t be mad at her wrongs and misgivings
but here I am, isolated in prison
my humanity is at the mercy of her guillotine
she pulls the string, my crimes never to be unseen

bury me where my baby can find her way home
where she can spit on my gravestone
I’ve been nothing but hopeless from the start
I’m nothing more than a ghost to the heart
make me a faint memory if she hasn’t already forgotten I exist
she wanted me gone for so long but finally, I no longer persist
my crimes far outlive our time, we are damaged forever
I’m guilty of all she wants me to be
she deserves a new life without me, it can only be better

Amber Tint

I have no secrets left to hide
but you won’t like what I confide
my life is not so much a conflicted mess
as it is designed to impress
to cause awe and disgust
to shock and surprise
look how it is normalized
you look to me for perfection
you look to me for direction
you are a victim of circumstances of your own creation
I am human diagnosed with human complications

my life pays the price of a sacrifice
and now I can see the light
it has a reddish glow, an amber tint
I look inside and now know, I repent
I see orange, yellow, red
I see joy become anguish, the love is dead
I need to follow the hollow of the glow
to find the love they will never know

A jury of my peers would sentence me to life
a life without you, an endless fight
crawl and brawl my way out of the hole
that I dug because I didn’t feel whole
I took for granted how life’s ever changing
I surrender my fears of failing
you think I’m still worth saving
but my demons still need taming

my soul still searches for peace
it looks for faith on a lease
I save you from myself, because you need my protection
I sit around of a table of my reflections
the best part of me sits at the head
slumped over, how long has it been dead
I was never right, who knows what part of me is left
I watch the rise and fall of Icarus
as it’s rehearsed, eerily similar to us
how all the ambition and lies compound
and burn everything I love to the ground

Face the Light

sandbags weigh me down
filled with guilt, I’ve burdened us both
you wink at me as I watch you drown
I’ve sabotaged us all, drilled a hole in the boat
when we set sail, our destination unknown
but the sun sets on us tonight, we’re going home

we are doomed to face the light
so let’s dance around the truth tonight
let’s enjoy these last moments together
as we accept there is no forever

we wake up tomorrow cold and pale
waterlogged with the air so stale
some version of hell
waves crash and beats our soul like hail
Poseidon wages war on us
when is enough, enough
I say I’m seeking shelter
you call my bluff
I can’t be trusted alone
not after I brought in the enemy to our home
forgiveness doesn’t come easily
healing doesn’t occur peacefully

we’ve hit rock bottom
the ocean floor, so true and solemn
did we stop to ever ask my dear
how did we end up here
this is my prison for my crimes
so why are you here doing more time
I’ve made a fool of you and me
and foolish hearts I envy

Burning the Pages

forgive me, I have lied to you
truth is, no one is more divine than you
but I make mistakes it’s true
I try to protect who I love
when my mind has had enough
thinking you don’t need the burden
of all the reason’s my soul’s hurting
I’m cursing the fact I’ve disappointed you
we were so high and I let you down
your cries haunt me with such a poignant sound

my suffering does not need to be yours
but now it comes off as if I’ve locked all doors
I’ve lost your trust with my guilty omissions
my judgement has been clouded with toxic emissions
I’ve only ever want you to be content and satisfied
but I always felt like a failure, no matter how hard I tried
I talk until I find the words that make sense
but I see you’ve put up an impenetrable fence
I am no longer deserving, no longer worth it
I had it all and then I forfeited

I’m burning all the pages
the story of all ages
I’m baring my soul, no more secrets
here it is, if you choose to keep it
I fear to know what the future holds
the truth isn’t so clear, but it’s being told

you’ve been so good to me
but not perfect, and that I love to see
haunted by a time you used to love me
life used to be so easy
when we lied to ourselves that everything is alright
that we don’t have to cry, we don’t have to fight
no one is right, but I am wrong baby
there is a light, but it won’t save me
I shall disappear like the memories of everyone else
and I don’t blame you one bit for protecting yourself

Sinners

I’ve made mistakes, I’ve let the world down
disappointment rests upon my cracked crown
my head leaks sorrow like rain at a funeral
it bleeds the joy no longer found within you
enacted a plan to suffer in life
As complete as a husband with no wife
I’ve flown too close to the sun
now my engine’s stalled
it’s so peaceful, the veins in which chaos runs
I’m infatuated with the beauty of my fall

there’s only one side to the stories we tell ourselves
we are all sinners, but I am a sin itself
tell me you love me but you can’t trust me
no one makes mistakes but me
judge me and make me pay the price
let my sins live as I die

Cry sinners, cry from the start
cry for the sinners with foolish hearts
all sins make my fate the same
life is a losing game
sinners be human, be true
but don’t expect for much longer, to be you

The oils from my skin
are used to burn my sins
I’ve done so much wrong
10 years of love, in a day undone
sacrifices must be made
can we make it
calm the turmoil I’ve created
but the storm has left us wasted
defeat isn’t bitter, it’s sweet, I can taste it
I won’t survive when I face it, I embrace it

I’m moved by your sorrow
I’m sympathetic to your tomorrows
I see your pain
I see why mine could never be the same
undeserving of merit from a broken past
the temporal nature of credit, it never lasts
no wrong has fallen upon me in this lifetime
I’m damaged, crawling, seeking passage
hanging by a thread, there’s my lifeline
pull it and let me be done
I was always going to be wrong
I’ve accepted peace won’t come

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