Tag Archives: trust

Lion’s Den

It hurts when someone thinks the worst of you
like they have no recollection of knowing you
your character, your behavior over the years
carries no weight in the eye of your peers
misinterpreted despite it seeming out of character
but there’s no benefit of the doubt, just an ex-factor
a simple miscommunication and you are the worst
like every damn thing in life is suppose to be rehearsed
no mistakes, just the double standard of perfection
everything I do is wrong, even when its in the right direction
paint me as a monster with your alternative facts
show me your real age in the way you act
you blew up no questions asked, over nothing
yet I’m the fucking screw up, ain’t that something

 

too much time spent in the lion’s den
you start to lose sight of foe from friend
where does the trust begin, where does it end
the only way out of the lion’s mouth
is to choose someone you can do without

apparently we’re not equally responsible for our actions
no accountability in the absurdity in your overreactions
you accuse me of libel and slander, taking everything out of context
to justify and stake your claim in the biggest asshole contest
I have to make peace in a war I didn’t start
I have to be real but you get to play a part
I admit I slip, I own up to my mistakes
but I seem to be the only one making them
at all times, its me apologizing and yet I’m the bad friend
I’m described as a cold soul because I supposedly don’t care
but when you need someone I’m the first one there
always available if you ever needed me to be
but for whatever reasons, you still don’t believe in me

I overestimated how well you knew me
and underestimated how well I knew you
people like you make me a recluse
but I refuse to stand here creating excuses
all we have in common is strife
I recuse myself from your personal life
I’m responsible for every decision I make
every word I say, every action I take
and it was my mistake
but I’m not mad, being so would mean that I care
that was once the case, but I’m no longer there
I’m checking out, there’s nothing good about the route we’re on
you’ve push me off the cliff and now I’m so far gone

Where the Truth Lies

why do I have to be strong when you can’t be
turn to weakness in your one moment of clarity
there are those that choose to do better
and then there are those that drown with the weather
your clutch, taking comfort in failure
once you’ve had enough, call on your savior
but you are no different from anyone else
do the same as everyone else
and I thought you were different
but I was wrong, it was only wishful thinking
years of an idea of you that no longer existed
a reality that was doomed to become fictitious

what separates you from anyone else
all the lies on top of lies, buried where the truth lies
when have you ever been yourself?
your decisions have become your prison
you’ve made choices you knew you would regret
and I have to live with the ones I can’t forget

I had higher hopes because you gave me hope
but now I feel a fool, the punchline to a bad joke
I thought there was something special
but the more I learn it’s like I’ve never met you
the stranger found throughout my life
and to think, you were to be my light
the truth hurts, it digs and pry
but I can’t explain to myself why
and neither can you, explain to me why
why oh why do we even try
when I want all thoughts of you to die
why do I want to forgive
when you have nothing left to give
my perfect vision no longer has reason to live

it comes crumbling down to the ground
the foundation of our foundation filled with cracks
my world turned upside down by a different you
nightmares about a past I knew I didn’t want for you
cast to the side, so there was nothing you had to hide
living life knowing it didn’t matter if we were alright
I was a hindrance, just another person in the way
and that’s how it played out in the games you didn’t play
but rather the games you ruled over without say

Let Me In

how should I feel when you keep me in the dark?
when you don’t share what’s on your mind?
but instead remain silent the entire time
like I’ve done something wrong
I can only be so strong for so long
so secure, until doubt creeps in
I’m no longer sure where to begin
how do I get it through to you
you’re not simply just hurting you
its a roller-coaster you put me through
one day so full of life and vibrant
but the next you become an island
you’re mind is so often else where
and too often in that else where, I’m not there

you look me in the eyes and say everything’s ok
but anyone else ask, and you have something different to say
push me away and act like I will never understand
maybe sabotage is part of your bigger plan
and I don’t want any part of it
if you throw the shoes at me when they don’t fit
I’m not here for anyone’s convenience
consistency is everything and for the 10th time, I mean it
excuses and apologies get old after the first few times
but now, we’re a juxtaposition in my mind
at a crossroads of contradicting thoughts
as a result of so many actions botched

the hot and the cold, day in and day out
let me in, and let me be without
free my mind from this constant doubt
let me in, and reassure my mind from start
that you intend to let me into your heart

I don’t want to be the last one to know
or the first one to go
this two way street acts more of a one way
I give, but never know what I’ll get any given day
and I can’t pretend like I’m fine accepting that
I don’t play the guessing game, so give some feedback
even when its something you don’t want to discuss
say that instead of treating me with disgust
speak up cause I know you can talk
before the distance between us becomes further than we can walk

We Were Champions

I’ve chased you for years, followed you into battle
never left your side, I was your shadow
I know you never asked, I never had to
but I gave you the benefit of the doubt
and promised you, you wouldn’t be without
that one to count on, the loyalty you sought for so long
but treating you like royalty is where I went wrong
you made my words your own, my place your home
but all this time, your vibrant colors weren’t shown
shielded by your armor that keeps me out
fooled by your lies that I was one you couldn’t do without
but whenever I needed you, I had to do without
that support once assumed to be mutual, wasn’t this time
twist my words that were yours that were once mine

we were champions, we would win
every battle we’d begin and end together
two survivors burnt by the fire
now we wage war against each other
no victory in fighting my brother

I’m fuming and fueled by much frustration
your assistance always came with such hesitation
like you couldn’t make the decisions for yourself
always waiting for the approval of someone else
In life or death, I’d once give my last breath
but now all that has been laid to rest
I can’t count on someone without a mind
it begins to add up, the missing vertebrae from your spine
we were a force, and of course I took the lower road
so that you could shine all high and mighty
but remember the mighty fall
and on this day you’ll remember my name being called
no mercy, no patience
I’m just a result of what you once created
the sum of its parts after you betrayed it

We were made to be equals
you made me out to be your sequel
years in the making, with my life for the taking
a sacrifice to be made in order to survive
cause you could never do any wrong
so it was my name you dragged on
instead of owning up to your issues
treated me like a piece of tissue
but you had it, had me all wrong
you let me grow to become too strong
and I don’t back down, I will fight
you try to rule with a bark, but I bite
you react without seeing the totality
I’m focused, I see your legacy’s mortality

Mighty Man of God

you’re so humble that you walk through fire
so selfless, but want to be the sole survivor
you preach as a mighty man of God
but keep your congregation in the fog
there’s the truth and you won’t tell it completely
I know it, so you ask me to leave discretely
It’s not your arrogance that I really notice
it’s the fact that no one else knows this
they follow you blindly, but you are still a man
I will respect you, but I am not a fan
I won’t bow down, I can’t follow your lead
but I am the contradiction your followers need
someone has to show them, there’s more to the story
don’t indulge in one man’s words hoping for glory

Mighty Man of God
castle and crown
head held high and looking down
I hear what you have to say
but I have my own truth to follow today

so much emphasis on physical but not spiritual wealth
I’m no fool, not impressed with how you carry yourself
it takes more than cheers and tears
to earn the respect of your peers
we are equals, cause we are also God’s people
you know as well as I, you do what we do
solid built, but your facade is so see-through
so don’t you dare think that I am beneath you
I am not perfect and I cannot worship flawlessly
but is that any reason for you to think less of me
I interpret the words of God told by man a little differently
cause they don’t always agree with what God has shown me
what he has told me, so will you continue to scold me?

your place of worship is also a place of business
raising money to the sky, I shake my head asking what is this?
we have so much more to offer, I express gratitude through the life I live
but you are so concerned with tracking how much I give
You quote the bible as saying this and that
but what about this part and that
so many sections filled with contractions
so shall we continue to dissect my convictions
tell me what I’m doing wrong this time
cause I have life, but apparently don’t know how to live mine
your book of law is only my guide
I don’t agree with, but respect every word inside
and I won’t follow everything, pretending to be blind
not when our God taught me to use my own mind

No Friend of Mine

ok so I give you my time

and you decide to play with it

I’m sorry, I can’t hear what you’re saying

your mouth seems to be so full of shit

and all I hear from you are excuses

I should of known trusting you was useless

but I thought how many time could one person do this

there’s an undeniable trend of you being an up and down friend

but you have nothing to lose so why the fuck pretend

and why waste both our time

knowing you can’t make up your damn mind

 

I called you out and you called my bluff

but there comes a time when I’ve had enough

make me out to be a fool

I don’t have time for people like you

No respect or regard towards my time

qualities found in no friend of mine

 

Inconsistency doesn’t bode well with me

and you preach the same relentlessly

but you are a contradiction to all you desire

you are the gas, match, and flame that cause the fire

that pain you feel burning in your heart

wondering why all your friendships dissolve and fall apart

for once in your life, blame yourself

this time you can’t look to anyone else

your days of playing victim are over

all those high on you, have now become sober

you’ve loss any ounce of favoritism

all truths told by you have now become fiction

an incomplete memory, a bad taste in my mouth

something, someone I can always do without

 

second chances are nothing new

but there’s been 4th, 5th, 6th chances for you

you get upset when people waste your time

but find entertainment value in messing with mine

you play the same games you blast others for

finally I’ve learned how to say “no more”

it was a process and it may have taken a while

but I now can separate a woman from a child

all you do is whine, cry, and complain

epitomizing hypocrisy, it’s a shame

but you will deflect blame, curse my name

because you don’t understand the concept of wrong

it’s unfortunate, I thought your values were so strong

but not once did you apologize

for all the deception and lies

and it will be you who thinks you wrote me off

but think about it… I just literally wrote you off

 

The Version of You Meant for Me

Here I am knocking on a door
that doesn’t open anymore
not for me at least
I’m not someone you have time for
even when I need you the most
I can’t even get close
I can’t have your time, your attention
there’s no retention of my problems
in your mind, it’s like you mind
they’re not your problems, they’re mine
so why would you solve them?
even though you are more than capable
but it’s my fault I ever put faith in you

You said you would be there for me
you could be my therapy
but now I begin to see
as I stand here feeling empty
you will never have time to be
the version of you meant for me

I’ve always been patient with you
always coming to your rescue
making myself available
even those times it took a week or two
knowing that one day you would do the same
you would sense my pain and call out my name
tell me everything would be ok
but here we are today
where I struggle, everything’s not ok
but the only words that you say
are to tell me that you’re tired and out of it
with an “I’m sorry” to seem compassionate
never asking how I am doing
because only your life can be in ruin
but this has always been the trend with you
this is what it means to depend on you

You spread yourself thin to please everyone, but you
then neglect the one who really loves you
when it really matters, you can’t come through
how can I continue to trust you?
my faith in you is beginning to wane
my words hurt, but now maybe you can feel my pain
you’ve proven to be, you’ve proven it to me
that you were nothing but all talk, all lies
but you will never catch a tear from these eyes
because I can’t lose something I never had
I can’t let go of something I never had a hold of
there will be a day when things get bad
and you seek my comfort through a door that you closed off

12.) Don’t you Forget/First Responder (Green)

Don’t you forget me
Don’t you forget you
Don’t forget you’re beautiful
Don’t forget I’m always there
Don’t you dare…my dear

I was the man you never knew
a soldier sent to protect you
at all cost, you would never be lost
never be left feeling down
when you needed me, I was around
I was there to be a resource
if life ever threw you off course
there to keep you on your feet
lend you a hand when you were weak
I was your doctor, your nurse
the water to quench your thirst
I was there to prevent the worst
To me, you always came first

I would of traded my life to preserve yours
taken a bullet without thinking first
I would never leave you to feel alone
With me, you always had a home
a place of comfort
someone who relishes your worth
take care of you whenever you fall ill
supply you with every ounce of my good will
I promised to protect you from all harm
I make it my duty to keep you warm
to make sure you had all you need
build your ego with the praises I feed

I am your your first responder
the catalyst that makes you stronger
I support your cause without cause
just because
I do it all for you
I only do it for you

If you ever had an emergency
allow yourself to count on me
let your guard down
I’ll always be around
to protect you from harm
just grab on to my arm
and I’ll take you to safety
I’ll save you like you saved me
all I need is your trust and faith
I make it my duty to keep you safe
you are everything that makes me stronger
strong enough to be your first responded

I declare war on anything that threatens you
I forge the weapons that defends you
so worry not in your time of need
rest easily, you have your peace
right here, next to me

Emotionally Compromised

I look in your eyes and I see your pain
feel your pain
you need my help but don’t say my name
you’re not the same
you rushed love and now pay the price
wishing this person was never in your life
you wanted to be his wife
but your relationship didn’t survive
he cheated, so now you feel cheated
out on a relationship which you never competed
with his ego, his desire of the flesh
you gave your all, so what do you have left?

nothing in your tank, you’re drawing a blank
trying to figure out where did you go wrong
and how long was this going on
insecurities begin to re-emerge
emotional breakdown, you begin to purge
seeking comfort in the tears you cry
can’t sleep, consumed with the question why
did he do this? why did she do that?
should you even take him back?
because you know he’s gonna ask of that
once he realizes his mistake, his loss
guilt trip you, win you back at all cost
make it seem like it was your fault
but he only regrets that he got caught

you’re attached, your judgement is weak
he cuts you off every time you try to speak
no respect for you, and now you have depression
so many feelings, a false reality sets in
you find a rebound as the perfect remedy
the pain in your heart seems to lessen with company
seeking comfort in someone with no worth to you
because you don’t know how to be alone, do you?
break another heart as part of your healing process
take advantage of the guy who thinks you’re flawless
then mess around, get drunk and it’s all sex
to feel desired, a temporary release of frustration
but now it’s yourself again that you are hating
debating if you could ever trust again
caught in a cycle that feels it will never end
but let’s not pretend, that all is bad
if you never invested, never cared
think of all the happiness you wouldn’t have
the good memories never there
don’t worry, you’ll heal in due time
there’s always another reason for you to shine

I can see it in your eyes
you are emotionally compromised
good woman down, in need of repair
but desiring who hurts you, not the one who cares
loneliness is everything you fear
but each day, someone will always be there

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