Tag Archives: truth

Not Your Everyday Man

Why am I so caught up in a world that doesn’t notice me?

single, no girl, but future desire for a family

quiet and reserved, but still like the attention

disciplined, but never through detention

I work hard for all that I desire

no one knows what fuels my fire

I just keep burning, with no signs of letting up

not easily phased, sometimes I just don’t give a fuck

easily annoyed, but others see me as patient

they just haven’t been in my way yet

cross me and expect all the shit you get

I keep to myself to avoid conflict

cause with me, they don’t want it

 

I’m not a guy’s guy

or a ladies man

I am not a leader

I am not a follower

I’m someone’s son

someone’s brother

I am what I am

not your everyday man

 

people say I don’t talk enough

but I think they talk too much

I take my time, never in a rush

never in a rush

so don’t rush me

I’m not touchy, but don’t touch me

don’t want to invade my personal space

I’ll make sure you reconsider that mistake

got a reputation for always being punctual

so don’t mess with my time

I don’t waste yours, so don’t fuck with mine

I know where I want to be

and I know how to get there

anyone can stand against me

but I’m driven so I don’t care

second guess me?…don’t you dare

 

I’m a passive asshole

sarcastic, but always rational

I make a lot of sense

even when I don’t make sense

I don’t fake, I don’t pretend

I’m blunt, but people can’t handle that

they ask for the truth, but then can’t give it back

I’ve loss my filter over the years

as I became more comfortable around my peers

or maybe I just no longer care what others think

because so much of it never makes sense

contradictions to everything they represent

but at the same time I’m a nice guy

don’t ask why…I’m just what I am

 

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19.) The Letter (Blue)

540 days after we first met, 186 days after we first kissed…

you became an illusion

an idea I should dismiss

your kisses irrelevant

because they no longer represent

who we both thought you were

a different woman from the one I fell for…

 

I care about you more than others could comprehend

I would of fought for you til the very end

I did for you what no one else would

I was the only one to believe you were any good

but this makes no difference to you

so I can no longer pursue

this one sided affair

You’ve shown how little you care

how little you have invested

how ugly you can really be

you were too unstable to mess with

so I place that blame on me

 

So much sacrifice

trying to get it right

our future looked so bright

ironic

a bulb blew as I write about you tonight…

 

there’s not much left to say

as your lack of response

it said more than enough

I wrote you too many times

not to hear one word

you wanted someone to write

and that’s why this hurts

none of this made any sense

but I can no longer expend

time on a false, conditional friend

we have reached the end of our time

I’ve written my final letter…I resign

 

Mirror Me

I look in your eyes and see how much you resent me
giving that lost gaze that makes me feel empty
a weakened version of the Lord’s reflection
losing my way and begging for direction
I know who I am and that’s the price I pay
been on my own path for so long, to this world I’m a stray
I am not them, the stereotypical demographic
I cannot win, repeating my own bad habits
never seeing my true face, so how can I face myself?
living in disgrace from the lies I tell
to protect those that I feel are less accountable
just to hear the words, “we count on you”
I was a role model, before they really knew me
and now its their hate that fuels me
you see me as a vacant and hollow shell
void of emotion and destined for hell

you don’t need a mirror to see me
there is no choice but for you to be me
trapped being your counterpart for eternity
release and free me, your failures don’t concern me
I don’t need this, it’s you who yearns to be me
I’m not at fault for you feeling so empty
I am the true self, no one else is you
no one sees the real me but you
I’m your shadow, I’m your reflection
I’m what’s missing when you’re lost of direction
I’m voicing your thoughts, when I speak, you listen
not poison to your heart, just a victim in your prison
your un-doing will be the day that I’m done
you know you only exist because I exist
now tell me that ignorance isn’t bliss
the defeat you are never willing to accept
making calculated moves to have no regrets
your obsession with time is an obsession of mine
I am the reason you don’t swear, the reason you don’t care
but do it all for them at the same time
please their heart, but fuck with their mind
you are everything that I want you to be
and I am all those things because you are me

There is always room to improve who I am
but that doesn’t mean I’m anything short of a good man
it’s right to say I am you and you are me
but understand, I am the man that I want to be
I make my decisions well aware of the consequences
I’m don’t bow down to obstacles, I climb the tall fences
Look in my eyes, challenge me to what you choose
if I don’t accept it, it’s not because I’m afraid to lose
Only to the Lord and myself do I ever have something to prove
my life is not something to play with, to me its not a game
I’ve seen too much in myself, haunted by the persistent pain
I am my harshest critic, so before you judge me, take a ticket
wait in line til it’s your time to experience the curse that I’m blessed with
they think of me as a monster, maybe it’s my reflection that’s aggressive
but I’m a beast in my own right, so the pureness in my heart is not to be tested
I am who I am and everything you want me to be, your sins reflected

mirror me and see what I see
walk in my shoes, stand beside me
do as I do, share my pain
face your reflection and never look at me the same

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